Sydapedia - User contributions [en]

Sammy Hagar

2012-02-27T18:03:01Z

Ross rifle113:

Sammy Hagar (or alternately, Sammy Gaybar, Hammy Fagar, and Hagar The Horrible) is an accomplished rock singer and tequila manufacturer. He has had a fairly successful solo career, but he is best known as being the second of three men to front the band [[Van Halen]]. Sammy is often harshly criticized as being an inferior frontman to the man who preceded him, David Lee Roth, and Roth's fans love to make fun of him. These criticisms are somewhat misguided though, as it was not Hagar's fault that Roth left the band. Rather, it was Eddie Van Halen's fault. Eddie Van Halen is a massive prick who has managed to piss off pretty much everyone he's ever known - Michael Anthony, Valerie Bertinelli, Sammy Hagar, Gary Cherone, and of course, David Lee Roth. The only people who can actually stand to be around EVH for more than a couple of years are his son Wolfgang and his brother Alex. As of 2007, Eddie and Diamond Dave seem to be getting along again, but it's only a matter of time before Eddie somehow manages to fuck things up.

== TRIVIA ==
*The only person who can beat Sammy Hagar in a drinking contest is Jimmy Buffet.
*"Right Now" was the best Van Halen video to feature Sammy Hagar ever. It's also being used for the McCain campaign. Ugh.
*Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony are BFFs.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Hagar, Sammy}}

[[Category:Singer]]

Van Halen

2012-02-27T18:00:37Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''The New Roth Year(s?) 07-??''' */

Van Halen is a band. They fucking rock. They've had more personnel changes than your mother's late night client roster. [[Ross Rifle]] has taken it upon himself to write the entire history of Van Halen for you, the fan, and you, the want-to-be-fan.

== History ==
=== '''The Beginning''' ===
Van Halen was started by brothers Edward and Alex Van Halen, Dutch immigrants who moved to Pasadena, California, when they were 12 and 14, respectively. They were born into a musical family, their father Jan being a band leader. After years of tedious piano and violin lessons, Eddie and Alex were struck by the rock bug. Alex decided to play guitar and Eddie got a drum kit. While Eddie was out delivering papers to pay for his kit, Alex was using it. When Eddie heard Alex play the drum solo from 'Wipeout', he called for a trade. The rest, as they say, is history.
They played in a few bands throughout their teenage years, such as Genesis (not to be confused with the Phil Collins/Peter Gabriel power trio) and the Trojan Rubber Company. They met a bassist named Mark Stone and formed the power trio Mammoth. A little while later Stone left and they recruited [[Michael Anthony]] from the group Snake. They started renting a PA system from [[David Lee Roth]], a dentist's son fronting the group Redball Jet. Soon they decided that it would be cheaper to have Roth in the band and asked him to join. When they found out that another group in the area was already named Mammoth, Roth suggested they change their name to Van Halen.
After making their bones on the Sunset Strip circuit, they were discovered by Gene Simmons, who paid to finance their demo. The demo got them nowhere, but one night Mo Ostin of Warner Bros. came in and heard them. They were instantly given a deal.

----
=== '''The Roth Years 78-85''' ===
Van Halen released their eponymous debut in early 1978, during the height of Disco and Punk. Disco and Punk effectively died after the album came out. It became the ultimate party album, chock-full of radio friendly hits, such as "Jamie's Cryin'", "Runnin' With The Devil", "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love," the death-thrash riffage before death-thrash riffage of "I'm The One" and a zesty cover of the Kinks' "You Really Got Me". It was the album's second track, an instrumental called "Eruption", that made the album really special. A one minute, 42 second display of Eddie Van Halen's innovative technique turned him into a guitar hero, and changed the way guitar was played, virtually overnight. Van Halen embarked on a successful tour opening for Black Sabbath, whom they blew off the stage every night.

Less than a week after their first tour, Van Halen headed into the studio to record ''Van Halen II''. The album took just over a week to produce, and featured "Dance The Night Away", the band's first top 15 hit. The album also featured the classic "Beautiful Girls" and the speed metal fury of "Light Up The Sky", as well as "Spanish Fly", another instrumental that demonstrated Eddie's talent on acoustic guitar. The band headed out on a headlining tour. Also, doesn't the intro to "Women In Love" kinda sound like Zora's Domain from Ocarina of Time?

Less than a year after ''Van Halen II'', the band released ''Women and Children First''. It was grittier and better demonstrated the band's style of recording live in the studio, with Roth periodically ad-libbing lines. The album featured "And The Cradle Will Rock" and "Everybody Wants Some!!", which was featured prominently in the John Cusack film ''Better Off Dead''. During the 1980 tour, tensions in the band started to rise, as evident on their follow-up album, 1981's ''Fair Warning''.

During the recording sessions for ''Fair Warning'', Eddie would constantly come into the studio at 4 am to record parts. One example of this was the track "Push Comes To Shove". It features a guitar solo that Eddie played at least 20 times, none of the takes being to the liking of producer Ted Templeman. Eddie went in to the studio late that night and recorded the same solo. When he presented it to Templeman later, it was accepted. Though this album's single was "So This Is Love?", a classic track that never charted, it is best known for the radio staple "Unchained".

After four years of nonstop recording and touring, Van Halen decided to a vacation. Before they all left, they decided to record a quick cover of Roy Orbison's "(Oh) Pretty Woman", just to keep their name out there. The single immediately launched up the charts, and the band had to enter the studio to record an album. The result, 1982's ''Diver Down'', though an exceptional album, was a rather weak effort, consisting of 3 instrumentals and 4 covers in its 12 song list. The album became their most successful at that point, despite arguments over a cover of Martha and the Vandellas' "Dancing In The Street", which Eddie was not satisfied with. After the ensuing tour, the band took a year off.

In 1983, David Lee Roth went on a trip to the Amazon, Michael Anthony went to Disneyland (according to Eddie), and Alex did...something. Eddie recieved a phone call one day from Quincy Jones, asking to do a solo for [[Michael Jackson]]'s upcoming album. Eddie went in and played a solo for the track "Beat It". As he didn't want the rest of the band to know, he did it as a favour, figuring nobody would know it was him. Of course, ''Thriller'', the album "Beat It" is from, became the best-selling album of all time, and Eddie recieved no royalties.

Later in 1983, the band got back together to record. The resulting effort was 1984's ''MCMLXXXIV'', which featured the hits "Panama", "Hot For Teacher", "I'll Wait", and their first #1 hit, "Jump". Unfortunately, tensions over the band's new synthesizer-fueled, pop-oriented direction, and Roth's impending solo album and movie career drew the band apart. David Lee Roth announced his departure from the band on April 1st, 1985...seriously. Not long after, Van Halen recruited [[Sammy Hagar]] to sing...seriously.

----

=== '''The Hagar Years 85-96''' ===
With the release of 1986's ''5150'', a new phase of Van Halen was born. The band started to produce their own material in Eddie's home studio, and Ed started to experiment with synthesizers. The result was a power-pop sound which, while not as popular with fans, was far more commercially successful, with ''5150'' becoming the band's first #1 album. Although "Why Can't This Be Love" and "Dreams" became hit singles, the album succeeded without the strength of any videos on MTV. After a successful tour and their first concert film, "Live Without A Net", the Van Halen boys got back to work.

1988's ''OU812'' marked Van Halen's second #1 album. It featured te hits "When It's Love" and "Finish What Ya Started", both of which had regularly rotated videos on MTV. They embarked on two tours, the second being the Monsters of Rock tour in 1988.

Van Halen released their third straight #1 album, the cleverly titled ''For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge'', in 1991. It marked a return to the band's hard rock style, only featuring piano on their hit "Right Now". The album also featured "Poundcake", "Top of the World" and "Runaround", as well as "316", an instrumental in dedication of his son Wolfgang's birth, on March 16, 1991. The band enjoyed another successful tour, with their first live album, ''Right Here Right Now'' being released in 1993.

By the time Van Halen recorded their fourth album with Hagar, ''Balance'', in 1995, tensions were starting to rise within its ranks. Eddie had just come out of rehab and had found God, and Hagar was refusing to write lyrics, resulting in two instrumentals. The album was heavy and featured deeper, more introspective lyrics, and became the band's fourth #1 album.

Band tensions came to a head in '96, over "Humans Being", a song contributed to the ''Twister'' soundtrack, and the track list on their upcoming Best Of Collection, which was to feature two new songs with David Lee Roth, who had joined the band in the studio while Hagar was away. Hagar left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The New Roth Year 96''' ===
At the 1996 MTV Music Video Awards Eddie, Alex, and Mike appeared live on stage with David Lee Roth to present an award. They recieved a two minute standing ovation. After the show, it was reported that Ed and Dave got in a fight and Dave was out. Many fans were devastated that their 11 year dream of a reunion was smashed, and that they had been subject to a publicity stunt to sell copies of their best of (it worked). Roth left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Cherone Years 98-99''' ===
In 1998 it was announced that the Van Halen camp had hired Gary Cherone of Boston group [[Extreme]] to front them. The resulting album was ''Van Halen III'', which, although an excellent album by any standards, was the group's worst selling. By 1999, Cherone was out, and four years of silence followed.

----
=== '''Four Years of Silence 00-04''' ===
Between 2000 and 2004, there was much turmoil in the Van Halen world. Though no one is sure of all that went down, some things have been confirmed:
*Eddie recieved a hip replacement.
*Eddie successfully battled tongue cancer.
*Eddie divorced Valerie Bertinelli, his wife of 20 years.
*Eddie, Alex, and Mike reunited with Dave on 3 occasions, all of which ended badly.
*It was later revealed that Michael Anthony played bass on only three tracks on ''Van Halen III''.

----
=== '''The New Hagar Year 04''' ===
In 2004, seemingly out of the blue, Van Halen reunited with Sammy Hagar. They released a new best of, ''The Best of Both Worlds'', featuring three new tracks with Sammy. They then embarked on a North American tour. The tour was largely considered overpriced (Ross Rifle will attest to this), and Eddie, who had fallen off the wagon, was a mess most nights. The tour grossed massive dollars, but by the end, Sammy left, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Seeming End of Van Halen 05-07''' ===
After the tour, Van Halen disappeared off the map. Eddie teamed up with MXR to release signature phaser and flanger pedals, and teamed up with Charvel to make replicas of his three famous custom guitars. Sammy toured as a solo artist, with Mike joining him as "The Other Half". Eddie then announced a partnership with Fender guitars, who created a perfect replica of his legendary Frankenstein guitar, as well as launched his own "EVH" line of guitar products.

In 2007, Van Halen was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There were rumours of a Dave/Van Halen reunion with Eddie's teenage son Wolfgang on bass, but Eddie checked himself into rehab, making himself (and Alex) unavailable for the induction. Dave refused to show when Velvet Revolver, who were paying tribute to them, said they would rather do "You Really Got Me" than "Jump". Only Sammy and Mike, who were no longer members of the band, were there to accept the induction. Gary Cherone was not inducted. It truly seemed like a sad end to one of the greatest rock bands on Earth.

----

=== '''The New Roth Year(s?) 07-??''' ===
About a month after the RnRHOF induction, Eddie made his first post-rehab appearance, looking healthy and clean-cut. He had an interview with Guitar World promoting his new 5150III amp, and the fountain of hope soon began to flow. Sure enough, on August 13th, 2007, Van Halen, consisting of Eddie, Alex, and Wolfgang Van Halen, as well as David Lee Roth, held a press conference announcing a North American tour. The tour, originally slated for 25 dates, commenced on September 27th. It was then extended four months until April 08, and went on to become one of the most successful tours in history, selling out nearly every show, and making the band an estimated $1.5 million a night. Once again, the Mightiest Band in all the Land was rocking the nation, with a proposed World Tour and upcoming album.

 After the successful tour, Van Halen once again feel out of the limelight. Eddie Van Halen commenced work with Fender, kicking his EVH brand into overdrive, releasing amps, guitars, cables, pickups, even high-top shoes. In 2009, he also underwent surgery on his left hand, for arthritis-like pain. Wolfgang Van Halen finished high school. David Lee Roth and Alex Van Halen just kinda fell off the map. And then, the unthinkable happened.

 In mid-2010, rumors were starting to pop up in the industry, regarding the production of a new Van Halen album. Various musicians and celebrities made claims that they had heard new material, and the consensus was that it kicked ass. In January 2011, Van Halen officially entered the studio with producer John Shanks. 2011 became wrought with occasional Van Halen updates throughout the year. In December, the official Van Halen website was updated, announcing a 2012 tour. On January 10th, 2012, Van Halen dropped "Tattoo", the lead single for their upcoming album, "A Different Kind of Truth".

 On February 7th, 2012, Van Halen released "A Different Kind of Truth", their first full-length studio album since 1998, and their first album with Roth since 1984. Although the lead single was met with general indifference, the rest of the album received glowing reviews from almost everybody, fans and critics alike. Van Halen was, once again, standing on top of the world.

----

== '''Line-Ups''' ==

=== 1974-1985 ===
*[[David Lee Roth]]-Vocals, Guitar
*[[Eddie Van Halen]]-Guitar, Keyboards, Backing Vocals
*[[Michael Anthony]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*[[Alex Van Halen]]-Drums

=== 1985-1996 ===
*[[Sammy Hagar]]-Vocals, Guitar
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1996 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1998-1999 ===
*[[Gary Cherone]]-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Drums, Vocals, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2004 ===
*Sammy Hagar-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2007 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*[[Wolfgang Van Halen]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

== '''Influence''' ==
Since the beginning, Eddie Van Halen has been considered the greatest guitarist since Jimi Hendrix, and pretty much every guitarist since him had tried to be as good as him. His custom guitars also influenced most 80s metal guitars, and music nerds have been trying to cop his "Brown Sound" tone for decades.

Van Halen were innovators in the music video ring as well. Their three videos from ''MCMLXXXIV'' created three important genres of video: the studio preformance (Jump), stage performance (Panama) and situational (Hot For Teacher). The latter was also one of the first videos to get banned for its latent sexuality.

Surprisingly enough, Eddie Van Halen was instrumental in getting African-Americans on MTV. His collaboration with Michael Jackson on "Beat It" also helped get MJ on rock radio and Van Halen on pop radio.

== '''Trivia''' ==
*Van Halen fuckin rules.
*Ross Rifle loves Van Halen.
*Gary Cherone suffered from the same syndrome as Tim 'Ripper' Ownes, Blaze Bayley, and John Corabi. That syndrome is [[Replacement Singer Syndrome]], where a singer is put into the impossible shoes of a fan favorite.
*Van Halen coined 'LSD', or 'Lead Singer's Disease'.
*At least 3 of the members of Van Halen have probably had sex with your mother, wife, or sister.
*Now that Van Halen and Led Zeppelin have reunited, there will no longer be any reunion tour EVER. Including Pantera :(.
*There's a little Van Halen in everybody.
*[[GPFontaine]] Saw them during a Cherone concert. The band was great, the singer was not.

[[Category:Band]]

==JRA's essential playlist for n00bs==

* Jump
* Dance The Night Away
* Unchained
* I'm The One
* The Full Bug
* Romeo Delight
* Runnin' With The Devil
* Outta Love Again
* House Of Pain
* Little Guitars
* Hot For Teacher
* And The Cradle Will Rock...
* Mean Street
* Beautiful Girls
* (Oh) Pretty Woman
* Push Come To Shove
* Eruption - You Really Got Me
* Everybody Wants Some!!
* Somebody Get Me A Doctor
* Panama
* Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love

(yes that will all fit onto an 80 minute disc, believe me I've tried)

Van Halen

2012-02-27T17:52:21Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''The New Roth Year(s?) 07-??''' */

Van Halen is a band. They fucking rock. They've had more personnel changes than your mother's late night client roster. [[Ross Rifle]] has taken it upon himself to write the entire history of Van Halen for you, the fan, and you, the want-to-be-fan.

== History ==
=== '''The Beginning''' ===
Van Halen was started by brothers Edward and Alex Van Halen, Dutch immigrants who moved to Pasadena, California, when they were 12 and 14, respectively. They were born into a musical family, their father Jan being a band leader. After years of tedious piano and violin lessons, Eddie and Alex were struck by the rock bug. Alex decided to play guitar and Eddie got a drum kit. While Eddie was out delivering papers to pay for his kit, Alex was using it. When Eddie heard Alex play the drum solo from 'Wipeout', he called for a trade. The rest, as they say, is history.
They played in a few bands throughout their teenage years, such as Genesis (not to be confused with the Phil Collins/Peter Gabriel power trio) and the Trojan Rubber Company. They met a bassist named Mark Stone and formed the power trio Mammoth. A little while later Stone left and they recruited [[Michael Anthony]] from the group Snake. They started renting a PA system from [[David Lee Roth]], a dentist's son fronting the group Redball Jet. Soon they decided that it would be cheaper to have Roth in the band and asked him to join. When they found out that another group in the area was already named Mammoth, Roth suggested they change their name to Van Halen.
After making their bones on the Sunset Strip circuit, they were discovered by Gene Simmons, who paid to finance their demo. The demo got them nowhere, but one night Mo Ostin of Warner Bros. came in and heard them. They were instantly given a deal.

----
=== '''The Roth Years 78-85''' ===
Van Halen released their eponymous debut in early 1978, during the height of Disco and Punk. Disco and Punk effectively died after the album came out. It became the ultimate party album, chock-full of radio friendly hits, such as "Jamie's Cryin'", "Runnin' With The Devil", "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love," the death-thrash riffage before death-thrash riffage of "I'm The One" and a zesty cover of the Kinks' "You Really Got Me". It was the album's second track, an instrumental called "Eruption", that made the album really special. A one minute, 42 second display of Eddie Van Halen's innovative technique turned him into a guitar hero, and changed the way guitar was played, virtually overnight. Van Halen embarked on a successful tour opening for Black Sabbath, whom they blew off the stage every night.

Less than a week after their first tour, Van Halen headed into the studio to record ''Van Halen II''. The album took just over a week to produce, and featured "Dance The Night Away", the band's first top 15 hit. The album also featured the classic "Beautiful Girls" and the speed metal fury of "Light Up The Sky", as well as "Spanish Fly", another instrumental that demonstrated Eddie's talent on acoustic guitar. The band headed out on a headlining tour. Also, doesn't the intro to "Women In Love" kinda sound like Zora's Domain from Ocarina of Time?

Less than a year after ''Van Halen II'', the band released ''Women and Children First''. It was grittier and better demonstrated the band's style of recording live in the studio, with Roth periodically ad-libbing lines. The album featured "And The Cradle Will Rock" and "Everybody Wants Some!!", which was featured prominently in the John Cusack film ''Better Off Dead''. During the 1980 tour, tensions in the band started to rise, as evident on their follow-up album, 1981's ''Fair Warning''.

During the recording sessions for ''Fair Warning'', Eddie would constantly come into the studio at 4 am to record parts. One example of this was the track "Push Comes To Shove". It features a guitar solo that Eddie played at least 20 times, none of the takes being to the liking of producer Ted Templeman. Eddie went in to the studio late that night and recorded the same solo. When he presented it to Templeman later, it was accepted. Though this album's single was "So This Is Love?", a classic track that never charted, it is best known for the radio staple "Unchained".

After four years of nonstop recording and touring, Van Halen decided to a vacation. Before they all left, they decided to record a quick cover of Roy Orbison's "(Oh) Pretty Woman", just to keep their name out there. The single immediately launched up the charts, and the band had to enter the studio to record an album. The result, 1982's ''Diver Down'', though an exceptional album, was a rather weak effort, consisting of 3 instrumentals and 4 covers in its 12 song list. The album became their most successful at that point, despite arguments over a cover of Martha and the Vandellas' "Dancing In The Street", which Eddie was not satisfied with. After the ensuing tour, the band took a year off.

In 1983, David Lee Roth went on a trip to the Amazon, Michael Anthony went to Disneyland (according to Eddie), and Alex did...something. Eddie recieved a phone call one day from Quincy Jones, asking to do a solo for [[Michael Jackson]]'s upcoming album. Eddie went in and played a solo for the track "Beat It". As he didn't want the rest of the band to know, he did it as a favour, figuring nobody would know it was him. Of course, ''Thriller'', the album "Beat It" is from, became the best-selling album of all time, and Eddie recieved no royalties.

Later in 1983, the band got back together to record. The resulting effort was 1984's ''MCMLXXXIV'', which featured the hits "Panama", "Hot For Teacher", "I'll Wait", and their first #1 hit, "Jump". Unfortunately, tensions over the band's new synthesizer-fueled, pop-oriented direction, and Roth's impending solo album and movie career drew the band apart. David Lee Roth announced his departure from the band on April 1st, 1985...seriously. Not long after, Van Halen recruited [[Sammy Hagar]] to sing...seriously.

----

=== '''The Hagar Years 85-96''' ===
With the release of 1986's ''5150'', a new phase of Van Halen was born. The band started to produce their own material in Eddie's home studio, and Ed started to experiment with synthesizers. The result was a power-pop sound which, while not as popular with fans, was far more commercially successful, with ''5150'' becoming the band's first #1 album. Although "Why Can't This Be Love" and "Dreams" became hit singles, the album succeeded without the strength of any videos on MTV. After a successful tour and their first concert film, "Live Without A Net", the Van Halen boys got back to work.

1988's ''OU812'' marked Van Halen's second #1 album. It featured te hits "When It's Love" and "Finish What Ya Started", both of which had regularly rotated videos on MTV. They embarked on two tours, the second being the Monsters of Rock tour in 1988.

Van Halen released their third straight #1 album, the cleverly titled ''For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge'', in 1991. It marked a return to the band's hard rock style, only featuring piano on their hit "Right Now". The album also featured "Poundcake", "Top of the World" and "Runaround", as well as "316", an instrumental in dedication of his son Wolfgang's birth, on March 16, 1991. The band enjoyed another successful tour, with their first live album, ''Right Here Right Now'' being released in 1993.

By the time Van Halen recorded their fourth album with Hagar, ''Balance'', in 1995, tensions were starting to rise within its ranks. Eddie had just come out of rehab and had found God, and Hagar was refusing to write lyrics, resulting in two instrumentals. The album was heavy and featured deeper, more introspective lyrics, and became the band's fourth #1 album.

Band tensions came to a head in '96, over "Humans Being", a song contributed to the ''Twister'' soundtrack, and the track list on their upcoming Best Of Collection, which was to feature two new songs with David Lee Roth, who had joined the band in the studio while Hagar was away. Hagar left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The New Roth Year 96''' ===
At the 1996 MTV Music Video Awards Eddie, Alex, and Mike appeared live on stage with David Lee Roth to present an award. They recieved a two minute standing ovation. After the show, it was reported that Ed and Dave got in a fight and Dave was out. Many fans were devastated that their 11 year dream of a reunion was smashed, and that they had been subject to a publicity stunt to sell copies of their best of (it worked). Roth left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Cherone Years 98-99''' ===
In 1998 it was announced that the Van Halen camp had hired Gary Cherone of Boston group [[Extreme]] to front them. The resulting album was ''Van Halen III'', which, although an excellent album by any standards, was the group's worst selling. By 1999, Cherone was out, and four years of silence followed.

----
=== '''Four Years of Silence 00-04''' ===
Between 2000 and 2004, there was much turmoil in the Van Halen world. Though no one is sure of all that went down, some things have been confirmed:
*Eddie recieved a hip replacement.
*Eddie successfully battled tongue cancer.
*Eddie divorced Valerie Bertinelli, his wife of 20 years.
*Eddie, Alex, and Mike reunited with Dave on 3 occasions, all of which ended badly.
*It was later revealed that Michael Anthony played bass on only three tracks on ''Van Halen III''.

----
=== '''The New Hagar Year 04''' ===
In 2004, seemingly out of the blue, Van Halen reunited with Sammy Hagar. They released a new best of, ''The Best of Both Worlds'', featuring three new tracks with Sammy. They then embarked on a North American tour. The tour was largely considered overpriced (Ross Rifle will attest to this), and Eddie, who had fallen off the wagon, was a mess most nights. The tour grossed massive dollars, but by the end, Sammy left, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Seeming End of Van Halen 05-07''' ===
After the tour, Van Halen disappeared off the map. Eddie teamed up with MXR to release signature phaser and flanger pedals, and teamed up with Charvel to make replicas of his three famous custom guitars. Sammy toured as a solo artist, with Mike joining him as "The Other Half". Eddie then announced a partnership with Fender guitars, who created a perfect replica of his legendary Frankenstein guitar, as well as launched his own "EVH" line of guitar products.

In 2007, Van Halen was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There were rumours of a Dave/Van Halen reunion with Eddie's teenage son Wolfgang on bass, but Eddie checked himself into rehab, making himself (and Alex) unavailable for the induction. Dave refused to show when Velvet Revolver, who were paying tribute to them, said they would rather do "You Really Got Me" than "Jump". Only Sammy and Mike, who were no longer members of the band, were there to accept the induction. Gary Cherone was not inducted. It truly seemed like a sad end to one of the greatest rock bands on Earth.

----

=== '''The New Roth Year(s?) 07-??''' ===
About a month after the RnRHOF induction, Eddie made his first post-rehab appearance, looking healthy and clean-cut. He had an interview with Guitar World promoting his new 5150III amp, and the fountain of hope soon began to flow. Sure enough, on August 13th, 2007, Van Halen, consisting of Eddie, Alex, and Wolfgang Van Halen, as well as David Lee Roth, held a press conference announcing a North American tour. The tour, originally slated for 25 dates, commenced on September 27th. It was then extended four months until April 08, and went on to become one of the most successful tours in history, selling out nearly every show, and making the band an estimated $1.5 million a night. Once again, the Mightiest Band in all the Land was rocking the nation, with a proposed World Tour and upcoming album.

 After the successful tour, Van Halen once again feel out of the limelight. Eddie Van Halen commenced work with Fender, kicking his EVH brand into overdrive, releasing amps, guitars, cables, pickups, even high-top shoes. Wolfgang Van Halen finished high school. David Lee Roth and Alex Van Halen just kinda fell off the map. And then, the unthinkable happened.

----

== '''Line-Ups''' ==

=== 1974-1985 ===
*[[David Lee Roth]]-Vocals, Guitar
*[[Eddie Van Halen]]-Guitar, Keyboards, Backing Vocals
*[[Michael Anthony]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*[[Alex Van Halen]]-Drums

=== 1985-1996 ===
*[[Sammy Hagar]]-Vocals, Guitar
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1996 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1998-1999 ===
*[[Gary Cherone]]-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Drums, Vocals, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2004 ===
*Sammy Hagar-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2007 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*[[Wolfgang Van Halen]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

== '''Influence''' ==
Since the beginning, Eddie Van Halen has been considered the greatest guitarist since Jimi Hendrix, and pretty much every guitarist since him had tried to be as good as him. His custom guitars also influenced most 80s metal guitars, and music nerds have been trying to cop his "Brown Sound" tone for decades.

Van Halen were innovators in the music video ring as well. Their three videos from ''MCMLXXXIV'' created three important genres of video: the studio preformance (Jump), stage performance (Panama) and situational (Hot For Teacher). The latter was also one of the first videos to get banned for its latent sexuality.

Surprisingly enough, Eddie Van Halen was instrumental in getting African-Americans on MTV. His collaboration with Michael Jackson on "Beat It" also helped get MJ on rock radio and Van Halen on pop radio.

== '''Trivia''' ==
*Van Halen fuckin rules.
*Ross Rifle loves Van Halen.
*Gary Cherone suffered from the same syndrome as Tim 'Ripper' Ownes, Blaze Bayley, and John Corabi. That syndrome is [[Replacement Singer Syndrome]], where a singer is put into the impossible shoes of a fan favorite.
*Van Halen coined 'LSD', or 'Lead Singer's Disease'.
*At least 3 of the members of Van Halen have probably had sex with your mother, wife, or sister.
*Now that Van Halen and Led Zeppelin have reunited, there will no longer be any reunion tour EVER. Including Pantera :(.
*There's a little Van Halen in everybody.
*[[GPFontaine]] Saw them during a Cherone concert. The band was great, the singer was not.

[[Category:Band]]

==JRA's essential playlist for n00bs==

* Jump
* Dance The Night Away
* Unchained
* I'm The One
* The Full Bug
* Romeo Delight
* Runnin' With The Devil
* Outta Love Again
* House Of Pain
* Little Guitars
* Hot For Teacher
* And The Cradle Will Rock...
* Mean Street
* Beautiful Girls
* (Oh) Pretty Woman
* Push Come To Shove
* Eruption - You Really Got Me
* Everybody Wants Some!!
* Somebody Get Me A Doctor
* Panama
* Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love

(yes that will all fit onto an 80 minute disc, believe me I've tried)

XBox Live Gamertags

2009-12-25T23:12:14Z

Ross rifle113:

* [[anorexorcist]]: ryan1196
* [[Char Aznable]]: General Disasta
* [[Chunx]]: Shagnarok
* [[Greg the White]]: Pennsylvanian
* [[homefry25]]: Bongreapage1983
* [[JEW]]: flyinjew
* [[Knyte]]: TheKnyte
* [[Mr. Bomberman]]: HazNobody
* [[mtgrnwdstar]]: ChiSoxFan913
* [[PhreQuencYViii]]: PhreQuencY8
* [[Rycona]]: Rycona (on XBL hiatus)
* [[scamrock]]: Scamrock
* [[Shut up, Dorn]]: Admiral Burr
* [[username]]: magicaccount
* [[Necrosaro]]: NecDW4
* [[TARDISman]]: TARDISman85
* [[Ross Rifle]]: rossrifle5150
[[Category:The Forums]]
[[Category:Lists]]

David Lee Roth

2009-10-20T19:09:35Z

Ross rifle113:

David Lee Roth is a big fucking goof, but surprisingly smart and one hell of an entertainer.

== Van Halen ==
He <s>was a</s> is the lead singer of [[Van Halen]].

== TRIVIA ==
*"Just A Gigolo" is a kickass music video.
*When shopping at convenience stores, Dave frequently asks the clerk for a bottle of anything, and one glazed donut... TO GO!!
*Dave's No Holds Bar-B-Que is quite possibly the most bizarre film you'll ever watch.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Roth, David Lee}}
[[Category:Singer]]

Talk:AC/DC

2009-05-21T09:19:17Z

Ross rifle113:

OMG YOU GUYZ I DON'T LIKE ACDC THEY SUCK ACDC SUCKS CHANGE THE ARTICLE OLOLOLOLOLOLOL

So which member of AC/DC wrote Whole Lotta Love? -Ross Rifle

Ross Rifle

2008-09-29T04:54:33Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' */

== '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' ==

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "[[Sweet Child O' Mine]]" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard [[Eddie Van Halen]]'s legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He was lead guitarist of [[Chainsaw Symphony]], until their disbandment in 2008. He is now working on a solo album. Ross Rifle also has a [[Ross Rifle's Ball Crushing Record Collection|ball crushing record collection]]. He is now working on a solo album which is sure to be awesome.

== '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' ==

Ross Rifle owns 7 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

''Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast'': Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

''Red'': Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

''Isabelle'': Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

''Marion'': Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

''Esmerlda the Pirate Wench'': Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

''Betty Boop'': Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

''Melanie'': A Peavey JF1 EX Semi-hollowbody. Looks like a Gibson ES-335. Honeyburst. Named after his friend Mel, who was with him when he bought it.

== '''Trivia''' ==

* Ross Rifle rules.
* He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a [[Ross Rifle (Gun)|Ross Rifle]]?". He laughed.
* [[Van Halen]] is his favourite band ever.
* His top 5 guitarists are as follows: [[Eddie Van Halen]], [[Slash]], [[Jimi Hendrix]], [[Jimmy Page]], [[Tony Iommi]].
* His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of [[AC/DC]].
* Though his favourite music lies in the [[Classic Rock]]/[[Hard Rock]]/[[Heavy Metal]] genre, he is an admitted fan of [[Frank Sinatra]], [[James Brown]], and [[Skye Sweetnam]].
* He is a former [[Spelling Bee|spelling bee]] champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
* Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

== Beliefs ==
[[Rock N' Roll]] will never die.

[[Category:Forum Members]]

Chilliwack, BC

2008-07-26T21:17:35Z

Ross rifle113:

Chilliwack, British Columbia, is the shittiest shit town to ever shit. It's approximately 100 km from Vancouver, BC. It is [[Ross Rifle]]'s home town. Chilliwack sucks.

== History ==
Chilliwack's first inhabitants were the Kipp family in the late 1800s. Throughout the 20th Century, Chilliwack grew. That's about it. Chilliwack sucks.

== The Joke ==
Who remembers Johnny Hart's "BC" comic strip? Every once in a while they'd have a joke where the one caveman says "My hometown is so small..." and the other caveman says "Oh yeah? How small was it?"-insert punchline here...

Well, Chilliwack is so small...

(How small is it?)

We never have elections for mayor because only one guy runs...

PS. That isn't a punchline. It's the truth. Another truth is that Chilliwack sucks.

== Region ==
Chilliwack sits in the middle of the beautiful Fraser Valley. It is bordered at the South by the Vedder River and at the North by the Fraser River. Chilliwack is surrounded by mountains and forest. It's also surrounded by Indian reserves, which isn't the best. Chilliwack sucks.

== Demographic ==
Chilliwack has about 70,000 residents. There's probably about 300 Asians, 5 African-Americans, 3 East Indians, 35,000 white people, and the rest First Nations people. As mentioned above, the town is surrounded by Indian reserves, so a very large number of Chilliwack's residents are drunk, poor, drug-addicted Native people. There's a bunch of homeless people too. Chilliwack also holds a Canadian record for most Churches per capita, as well as most grow-ops per capita...put that one together. Chilliwack sucks.

== City Centre ==
Chilliwack's downtown core is marked by Five Corners, a square that no one except Chilliwack drivers can seem to handle. At least half of the downtown core's businesses are abandoned. Chilliwack sucks.

==Notable Residents==
Chilliwack's most famous resident is [[Patrick Gallagher]].
Chilliwack's other residents include:
* [[Ross Rifle]] and [[Chainsaw Symphony]].
* The Heavy Metal Hobo-''once sold Ross Rifle the Alice Cooper issue of Rock N Roll Comics''
* Crazy Lady-''crazy old bitch who once lived down the street from Ross. She liked to run outside naked...''
* Mullet Man-''the infamous Mullet Man used to ride around town on his bike talking to himself.''
* Crazy Bike Guy-''once pulled a knife on Ross' mom.''
* Redbeard-''this homeless guy that Ross talks to. He rides his bike alot and is really nice.''
* Pirate Man-''Crazy fucker. Wears a horizontally striped shirt and has in depth conversations with himself.''
* Gay Boys- ''Live across the street from Ross. They only painted half their house, but they chopped down their shrubs and`ll have to finish the job. The have dogs and are gay.''
* JIMMY!!!!- ''Lives right across the street from Ross. He has a ham radio tower, keeps his house under tight lockdown, and most likely owns heavy artillery. His real name is unknown, but he was dubbed Jimmy by Ross and his dad after the retard on'' King of the Hill.
* Patrick-''an old high school friend of Chainsaw Symphony. He fell into hard drugs and is now a complete idiot.''

== Problems ==
Chilliwack is a fucking dump that should never be visited. Sometimes it gets scary walking at noon. There's a shitload of cracked out Natives and homeless people, and not nearly enough cops. There's gangs, a massive drug industry, and a large amount of prostitutes. Basically, all the problems of a major city, crammed into a small town. When driving down Yale, Chilliwack's #1 main road, you are guaranteed to see at least one of the following: hooker, crack head, teenage mother.

Another major problem is that the City is tearing down all of Chilliwack's houses and putting up apartments. It's fucking ridiculous. Ross Rifle is particularly angered as many of Chilliwack's houses are around 100 years old (his was built in 1888, the same year [[Jack the Ripper]] was running around ruining the shit of hookers in London).

The whole atmosphere of the town creates a very hostile environment. As a result, Chilliwack has greatly contributed to the crime rate in BC, and school fight videos on Youtube.

It also doesn't help that ol' Wheels (Mayor Sam Sullivan) in Vancouver is clearing out his town for the [[2010 Olympics]] and sending all the dregs of society to outlying town, without giving a shit.

A recent study has shown that Chilliwack is the 7th most dangerous city in Canada. Nearby Vancouver, with a population of 2.25 million people, sits two spots lower.

Lastly, Chilliwack sucks.

== Things To Do In Chilliwack ==
As Chilliwack closes at 10pm and is more entertaining after that, here's a list of activities that Ross and his friends like to partake in:
* Get drunk.
* Walk around.
* Get drunk and walk around.
* Walk all the way across town and back.
* Go to 7-11.
* Walk in the middle of the road and get in trouble with the cops.
* Flip off cops.
* Knock over mailboxes.
* Knock over dumpsters.
* Break windows, TVs, etc.
* Go up Little Mountain and throw things off the cliff.
* Basically do anything that'll cause a loud noise and potentially maybe piss people off.
* Chilliwack sucks.

== Thoughts ==
Chilliwack sucks, and I want out-Ross Rifle

[[Category: Places]]

Ross Rifle

2008-07-25T22:40:44Z

Ross rifle113:

== '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' ==

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "[[Sweet Child O' Mine]]" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard [[Eddie Van Halen]]'s legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He was lead guitarist of [[Chainsaw Symphony]], until their disbandment in 2008. He is now working on a solo album. Ross Rifle also has a [[Ross Rifle's Ball Crushing Record Collection|ball crushing record collection]]. He is now working on a solo album which is sure to be awesome.

== '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' ==

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

''Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast'': Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

''Red'': Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

''Isabelle'': Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

''Marion'': Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

''Esmerlda the Pirate Wench'': Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

''Betty Boop'': Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

== '''Trivia''' ==

* Ross Rifle rules.
* He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a [[Ross Rifle (Gun)|Ross Rifle]]?". He laughed.
* [[Van Halen]] is his favourite band ever.
* His top 5 guitarists are as follows: [[Eddie Van Halen]], [[Slash]], [[Jimi Hendrix]], [[Jimmy Page]], [[Tony Iommi]].
* His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of [[AC/DC]].
* Though his favourite music lies in the [[Classic Rock]]/[[Hard Rock]]/[[Heavy Metal]] genre, he is an admitted fan of [[Frank Sinatra]], [[James Brown]], and [[Skye Sweetnam]].
* He is a former [[Spelling Bee|spelling bee]] champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
* Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

== Beliefs ==
[[Rock N' Roll]] will never die.

[[Category:Forum Members]]

Nickelback

2008-07-17T04:20:17Z

Ross rifle113:

Nickelback is an extremely crappy "rock/alternative" band.

== The lead singer ==

The lead singer of Nickelback is Chad Kroeger. He's basically the main reason why Nickelback sucks. He's an absolutely terrible singer, and something is wrong with his mouth. Chad's mouth is like some black abyss of fecal doom. Next time you happen to see a Nickelback performance, a Nickelback music video, or simply an interview with Chad Kroeger, don't pay attention to anything but the movement of his mouth. You'll know what I mean then.

== Why they suck ==
* Chad Kroeger
* The music (i.e. a cheap, sleazy, craptastic rip-off of Alice in Chains)
* Ever heard that song "Rockstar"? Blech...
* Obnoxious, brain-dead, white-trash lyrics
* A complete lack of anything resembling a sense of humor
* They just suck across the board

== Redeeming qualities ==
*There's this song called "Animals" on their newest album. The song is actually quite good, and a definitely nice change of pace for Nickelback.

*They're first album was quite good. Listen to 'Leader of Men'.

*Chad Kroeger's mansion is less than half an hour from [[Ross Rifle]]. Ross plans on egging his house in the name of Sydlexia and Rock N Roll.

John Rhys-Davies

2008-07-13T21:14:27Z

Ross rifle113:

[[Image:John Rhys-Davies.png|center]]

A great character actor.

{{DEFAULTSORT:Rhys-Davies, John}}
[[Category:Movies]]
[[Category:Television]]
[[Category:Actors]]

Ross Rifle

2008-07-01T06:10:03Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' */

== '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' ==

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "[[Sweet Child O' Mine]]" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard [[Eddie Van Halen]]'s legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He was lead guitarist of [[Chainsaw Symphony]], until their disbandment in 2008. He is now working on a solo album. Ross Rifle also has a [[Ross Rifle's Ball Crushing Record Collection|ball crushing record collection]] He is now working on a solo album which is sure to be awesome.

== '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' ==

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

''Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast'': Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

''Red'': Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

''Isabelle'': Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

''Marion'': Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

''Esmerlda the Pirate Wench'': Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

''Betty Boop'': Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

== '''Trivia''' ==

* Ross Rifle rules.
* He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a [[Ross Rifle (Gun)|Ross Rifle]]?". He laughed.
* [[Van Halen]] is his favourite band ever.
* His top 5 guitarists are as follows: [[Eddie Van Halen]], [[Slash]], [[Jimi Hendrix]], [[Jimmy Page]], [[Tony Iommi]].
* His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of [[AC/DC]].
* Though his favourite music lies in the [[Classic Rock]]/[[Hard Rock]]/[[Heavy Metal]] genre, he is an admitted fan of [[Frank Sinatra]], [[James Brown]], and [[Rihanna]].
* Ross Rifle hasn't cut his hair in four years. He's saved a lot of money, but if he wants to maintain his metal hair, he's gotta start getting regular trims. Plus, he just pulled the biggest fucking knot out of his hair.
**'''EDIT:'''Ross Rifle got his hair cut to shoulder-length. The ladies really dig it.
**'''SUPER-EDIT:'''Due to the long hair creating a bald spot, Ross cuts his hair real short. The ladies like that one better.
* He is a former [[Spelling Bee|spelling bee]] champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
* Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

== Beliefs ==
[[Rock N' Roll]] will never die.

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]
[[Category:Forum Members]]

Aika

2008-07-01T06:02:08Z

Ross rifle113: /* Arm Wrestling */

[[Image:Aika post.jpg|thumb|right|I'm in ur forumz derailing ur threadz.]]
Aika is a member of the Sydlexia forums. She is currently the only regular female poster, which makes her the butt of a lot of jokes (proving once again why she is the only female poster). Ever since she posted pictures of herself male forum members have been hitting on her in a futile attempt at finally getting laid by a hot gamer chick. This kind of behavior can lead to the complete [[Thread Derailing|derailing]] of any thread she appears in.

== Professional ==

=== Arm Wrestling ===
Aika is a professional arm wrestler. While she is currently not the champion of her division, she has been making strides towards the top of her group. Analysts believe that she will be a top contender in the 2009-2010 season and barring any injuries are betting the proverbial farm on it.

== Personal ==

Aika is a 22-year-old college student majoring in International Studies (w/ specialization in East Asia) while also persuing TESOL certification. She also studied Japanese in college, and now knows enough to hold a (mildly coherent) conversation. She's hoping to graduate college next spring, but who knows. She recently dumped her boyfriend of three months and is currently single and looking.

== Video Games ==

A huge gamer, Aika has fond memories as a child of staying up late and watching her father play [[RPG|RPG's]] on the SNES. Some of her favorite games include:
* Final Fantasy VI, XII, & Tactics
* Shadow Hearts
* Shadow of the Colossus
* Sims 2 (fuck you, I'm a girl)
* Tomb Raider: Legend

== Trivia ==

* She loves the colors red, purple, silver, and black.
* She also adores eating cherries.
* Aika has a huge crush on someone on the forum. No, it's probably not you. Unless of course your name is [[Ross Rifle]].
* She is deathly afraid of spiders and heights.

[[Category:Forum Members]]
[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]

Zelda Game Opinions

2008-06-21T17:36:06Z

Ross rifle113:

== Zelda "Link's Quest" ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
This was the first Zelda game made, but you knew that already. Well I have beaten this game (umm the 1st quest) this is a great game, and it was for NES. The good thing about this game was, it gave you an unrealistic goal and a wooden sword... o...k.. either way, the dungeons were pretty well done, and the game wasn't really easy (not really hard either) but the negative things about it were you could only have 255 rupees, (I don't remember the reason for this but I know there is one) the Dark Nuts could only be hit from the back or side, and of course no map of the overworld.

On a side note if you enter the name ZELDA as your file name you start on the 2nd quest

== Zelda II "The Adventure of Link" ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
The 2nd Zelda game on NES a very weird RPG like Zelda game and *the only game Link could jump in* the good thing about this game is... its... umm... unique I just don't really get the game but the good thing is Link uses Magic spells he learns from these wizards in some towns. The bad things about this game are: there is no equipment, (you need the 3 B's in every Zelda game they're accentual) the random battles are a pain in the ass, there are people who turn into bats in some towns, only 3 lives which is a fucking pain `cuz this game is kinda hard, and the fact that his sword is the same color as him, and he heals by going into women`s houses is very, very weird. There are more flaws with this game like super accurate dinosaurs, invisible ghosts, a hidden town.

Side note for this game is I never beat this one I`m still stuck at the last temple by the time I get there I lost a live then I loss my other to trying to navigate the maze.

== The Legend of Zelda: A Link to The Past==
=== Laminated Sky ===
This game is the best IMO of course and has probably the most positive points that I can come up with, ehem: lots of equipment, 4 different swords, 3 different tunics, 3 different shields, 2 boomerangs, 2 different bows (well arrows), loads of bosses and dungeons, a MAP and a fairly good one at that. It also has a storyline, mini games, heart pieces (rather then the full hearts or health bar extension) and intertwine worlds Light and Dark. As for negative points I don`t really have any... o okay I got one the story line is stolen from episode 4 of Star Wars? Um well okay the annoying low health sound is there but that`s the only thing I`d figure is wrong.

A side note here do you think the words "A Link to The Past" is a pun referring to both the main character Link and the word link? Or perhaps is just an odd co-incidence?

== The Legend of Zelda: Link`s Awakening ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Other then the fact this game is a bit to like Mario in some parts it`s not a bad game. As far as it goes for GB games this is one of the best original GB games. Well I kinda lost this game when I was younger so, I would like to say thanks to this game I found out what a pillar is, but I digress I never beat this game and I don`t even remember how far I got in it but I do remember it was a fairly decent Zelda game.

A side note for here could be something I figure out on my own. If you steal a shield from the shop owner (I think you run around him 3 times or something) that girl Malon will call you a "THIEF!" and if you go back in the store the shopkeeper makes Gannon seem weak in comparison by killing you in one hit.

== The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Is probably about 83% of most people favorite Zelda game (and my 2nd favorite). This is the story about a kid who lives in the forest and can`t get a fairy. This was the first Zelda done in 3D which makes it more epic then it is, but, it is epic as a Zelda game and a Nintendo game. This game has uniqueness to it, it is the only Zelda game where you can play as the older and younger versions of Link. This game has a large amount of dungeons, unique bosses, mini games, trials, and such. It also has a variety of equipment. The most noticeable thing that I think makes this game awesome is the fact that Link can use a broad sword (the Biggorons Sword). Some negatives are: you can`t use the equipment that you used as a kid when your an adult, any part of the game w/a time limit, the fact you have to sneak around the Thieve`s Den. Link is a swordsman can`t he like not get caught by a bunch of women w/pikes? He just surrenders like a little bitch.
Also if you get the scarecrows song you have to memorize it and that`s kinda irritating.

Side note here is the people Saria, Darunia, Ruto, Nabooru, Impa, and Rauru whom are all sages are also town names in the 2nd Zelda weird huh?

----

=== Ross Rifle ===
The story, the adventures, the music, everything about this game is amazing. This is definitely in my top 5, if not my favorite game of all time. It gives all the feelings of an epic cinema masterpiece. This game is perfect.

== The Legend of Zelda: Majora`s Mask ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Is a kinda "gaiden" to OoT where Link takes his horse Epona to Termina after some weird shit with the Skullkid he turns into a Deku. Basically this game has a time limit that can be reset at anytime if you have your ocarina you will however lose any rupees, arrows, bombs, and anything that can be in a quantity. The positives about this game is the fact that you can transform w/certain masks and you can have basically an infinite supply of rupees because there is a bank that isn`t affected by the time warp... weird. Some negatives are the annoying time limit, only a few bosses, and collecting heart pieces. With only 4 bosses that give you heart pieces you have to look for a lot of them because having 7 hearts just sucks.

A side note in this maze game in Clock Town (creative name huh?) there is a girl that charges you different prices depending on how you look. (ain`t that a bitch?)
20 for the Goron 15 for the Deku 10 for Link and 5 for the Zora. She must be rasict or something notice the Deku and the Goron cost the most well there skin is darker?

O yeah did you know gaiden means side story?

== The Legend(s) of Zelda: Oracle of Ages & Oracle of Seasons ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Shigeru Miyamoto pulled off a Pokémon. He made two games very similar, but unlike Pokémon these games are actually different story lines. Seasons take place in Holodrum, well Ages takes place in Labrynna. If you beat both games you could unlock new equipment and larger seed satchel. These games were and still are great Zelda games I ha(d)(ve) both games if that makes sense I actually lost my Seasons, but my Ages is still somewhere in my house. In these games you can fight Twinrova and Gannon if you beat both games. These games are great individually and better when you have both. Some negatives are: even after beating Ages I still get stuck at some points, well maybe that`s my own stupidity. The only other thing I find kind of annoying is you can`t face Gannon unless you have both games.

Side notes again, for Ages; in the ever lasting trading sequence you actually get a bag of shit, that`s right a bag of shit. In Seasons there are these people that wear big ass hoods know as Suburbians... I live in a Suburb ghetto and we all dress like that weird... actually they are called: Subrosians

== The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Named "four" swords `cuz four people can play as different colored Links, this will be short. The good thing about this game is it is the 1st multiplayer Zelda game ever. This game was intertwine w/A Link to The Past when it got ported onto GBA. The main negative is that the game is really short and you need another person to play, it is not a single player game at all.

If you beat this game you can play an extra dungeon in Lttp

== The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Was probably the most underrated Zelda game ever, but if you played it, it was a great game, none the less. The reason I believe this game was so underrated (and probably the only reason) was because after people played OoT and MM they wanted to see a nicely done Zelda game with cool knew graphics. Therefore when the angry nerds saw the cartoonish version of Link they were bitching that it wasn`t a Zelda game or some shit like that. Well I don`t judge most things by graphics, reality has amazing graphics, and I don`t like it, that`s why I play video games. Anyway, this game only has a few dungeons before Gannon like 5 I think. It is very annoying, that you have to fill up your map or you`ll lose your place sometimes. Lastly the whole "Great Sea" thing is boring, going around in a boat for 10 minutes looking for some damn island.

Another side note the "Great Sea" isn`t very great I mean it will kinda drown you if you swim to long I think it`s cursed the name is kind of ironic.

== The Legend of Zelda: Four Sword Adventure ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
Is an awesome multiplayer game w/the use of the GBA it is a great game. Things that are cool about this game well it is a multiplayer game (only 14.3% of Zelda games are multi.). There is co-op which is adventure mode, and there is battle mode where you beat the shit out of each other with various weapons that can be pick up. Another thing is this game is also single player also and you can use the Gamecube controller. Downsides are GBA graphics, and you need the GBA-GCN connecter to play multiplayer.

A side note is you can pick up your allies and use them as weapons its some how amusing.

== The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
In this Link can shrink into a minish size (minish are little creature that can only be seen by children...). The hat know as Ezlo
"the Minish cap" was a wizard that caught turned into a hat by the evil sorcerer name Vaati. Anyway you take the annoying cap w/you to get these gem things I forgot what they are called. Well these gem things fuse with the Picori Sword to create the four sword! But you don`t split into different people... You do however have the ability to create clone like images of yourself when you stand over these colorful glowing spots. This game isn`t very hard at all it is kinda weird, but it is still a cool game `cuz you can learn different techniques from these swordmasters.
Like Breaking pots, shooting beams, spinning like a crackhead etc.

A side note here this game has more unique weapons then most Zelda games like the gust jar, cane of pacci or remote bombs

== The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
This is the best Zelda game graphic wise and to quote myself "reality has amazing graphics, and I don`t like it, that`s why I play video games" in other words graphics don`t matter much to me, but the storyline is quite nice and the ability to be a wolf is kinda cool. This game has great graphics, nice storyline, sweet gameplay, and some awesome dungeons; so where is its flaws?
In the boss battles most of these bosses suck like nothing: 1st boss that baba tri-headed thing it was done okay could be stronger. 2nd boss OMFG so easy less then a minute. 3rd boss is okay `cuz your underwater. 4th is actually the only fairly decent fight. 5th the fight is very retarded but Yeta is no pushover. 6th Gohma isnt that hard not to say she`s easy. The 7th the Argorok dragon, damn why couldn`t they have made him stronger that boss is so fun to fight. As for Zant he is kinda difficult. Zelda isn`t hard at all. Gannon is annoying sometimes if you don`t know what to do he is. Anyway when they are on the horses they are somewhat annoying. As for Gannondorf he is well lets just say Link has a secret weapon more destructive then the Master Sword.

The secret weaon that Link can use to defeat Gannondorf is........ the.......fishing rod. It is funny `cuz if you pull out the fishing rod the look on his face is priceless it looks like he would say "....Okay what the fuck is wrong with this kid a fishing rod I should just stab the little fucker... AHRGH I cant look away it is just so mesmerizing"

== The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass ==
=== Laminated Sky ===
I have only played this for about 3 hours and beat only 2 bosses so unless there are 20 bosses this game wouldn`t be that hard a believe there are 8 bosses? This game has some weird ass graphics but that doesn`t matter the over all game play is okay. The thing that creeps me the fuck out is why are the boss keys so large? Guess thats why they call them "Big Keys". Well that`s it i haven`t played enough of this game to give you an opinion on it.

Last note do you have to ask someone for alka-seltzer by yelling at the game?
I thought I heard my cousin yell "I NEED ALKA-SELTZER" he said "the louder you yell the cheaper it is"

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]

Ross Rifle

2008-06-06T22:36:12Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' */

== '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' ==

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "[[Sweet Child O' Mine]]" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard [[Eddie Van Halen]]'s legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He is now lead guitarist in [[Chainsaw Symphony]], and is always playing his guitar. Ross Rifle also has a [[Ross Rifle's Ball Crushing Record Collection|ball crushing record collection]]

== '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' ==

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

''Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast'': Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

''Red'': Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

''Isabelle'': Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

''Marion'': Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

''Esmerlda the Pirate Wench'': Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

''Betty Boop'': Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

== '''Trivia''' ==

* Ross Rifle rules.
* He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a Ross Rifle?". He laughed.
* [[Van Halen]] is his favourite band ever.
* His top 5 guitarists are as follows: [[Eddie Van Halen]], [[Slash]], [[Jimi Hendrix]], [[Jimmy Page]], [[Tony Iommi]].
* His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of [[AC/DC]].
* Though his favourite music lies in the [[Classic Rock]]/[[Hard Rock]]/[[Heavy Metal]] genre, he is an admitted fan of [[Frank Sinatra]], [[James Brown]], and [[Rihanna]].
* Ross Rifle hasn't cut his hair in four years. He's saved a lot of money, but if he wants to maintain his metal hair, he's gotta start getting regular trims. Plus, he just pulled the biggest fucking knot out of his hair.
**'''EDIT:'''Ross Rifle got his hair cut to shoulder-length. The ladies really dig it.
**'''SUPER-EDIT:'''Due to the long hair creating a bald spot, Ross cuts his hair real short. The ladies like that one better.
* He is a former [[Spelling Bee|spelling bee]] champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
* Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

== Beliefs ==
[[Rock N' Roll]] will never die.

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]
[[Category:Forum Members]]

Ross Rifle

2008-06-01T07:28:17Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''Trivia''' */

== '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' ==

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "[[Sweet Child O' Mine]]" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard [[Eddie Van Halen]]'s legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He is now lead guitarist in [[Chainsaw Symphony]], and is always playing his guitar. Ross Rifle also has a [[Ross Rifle's Ball Crushing Record Collection|ball crushing record collection]]

== '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' ==

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

''Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast'': Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

''Red'': Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

''Blackie'': Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

''Marion'': Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

''Esmerlda the Pirate Wench'': Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

''Betty Boop'': Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

== '''Trivia''' ==

* Ross Rifle rules.
* He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a Ross Rifle?". He laughed.
* [[Van Halen]] is his favourite band ever.
* His top 5 guitarists are as follows: [[Eddie Van Halen]], [[Slash]], [[Jimi Hendrix]], [[Jimmy Page]], [[Tony Iommi]].
* His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of [[AC/DC]].
* Though his favourite music lies in the [[Classic Rock]]/[[Hard Rock]]/[[Heavy Metal]] genre, he is an admitted fan of [[Frank Sinatra]], [[James Brown]], and [[Rihanna]].
* Ross Rifle hasn't cut his hair in four years. He's saved a lot of money, but if he wants to maintain his metal hair, he's gotta start getting regular trims. Plus, he just pulled the biggest fucking knot out of his hair.
**'''EDIT:'''Ross Rifle got his hair cut to shoulder-length. The ladies really dig it.
**'''SUPER-EDIT:'''Due to the long hair creating a bald spot, Ross cuts his hair real short. The ladies like that one better.
* He is a former [[Spelling Bee|spelling bee]] champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
* Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

== Beliefs ==
[[Rock N' Roll]] will never die.

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]
[[Category:Forum Members]]

Chainsaw Symphony

2008-06-01T07:26:10Z

Ross rifle113:

Chainsaw Symphony is soon to be the greatest band on Earth. Started in [[Chilliwack, BC]], in 2007, they fuse hard rock, blues, metal, prog-rock, and techno/industrial. They have yet to perform, record, or even practice as a full unit, but Chilliwack is a vaccuumous hole when it comes to fame, so they'll really start shit when they move to Vancouver in 2009.

----
== Break-up ==
On May 30, 2008, Ross Rifle called an end to Chainsaw Symphony. He had had enough of false starts and three years of his dreams being a cock-tease. Maybe some day the band shall begin anew, but Ross is solo at the moment.

----
== '''Members:''' ==

[[Ross Rifle]]: Lead Guitars, Rhythm Guitars, Vocals

Connor Tkach: Keyboards, Rhythm Guitars, Vocals

Geoff Prokop: Rhythm Guitars, Lead Guitars, Vocals

Brandon Kostering: Bass, Vocals

Ryan Smith: Drums

----
== '''Influences:''' ==
* [[The Beatles]]
* [[Led Zeppelin]]
* [[Van Halen]]
* [[Guns N' Roses]]
* [[Black Sabbath]]
* [[Ozzy Osbourne]]
* [[Aerosmith]]
* [[Pink Floyd]]
* [[Nine Inch Nails]]
* [[Motley Crue]]
* [[Alice Cooper]]

----
== '''The Ladies of the Symphony''' ==
* Ross, Brandon, and Geoff, the three founding members of Chainsaw Symphony have all called dibs on the celebrity they are going to marry and/or screw mightily when they are famous.

Ross
1. [[Scarlett Johansson]]
2. [[Marion Raven]]

Brandon
1. [[Megan Fox]]
2. [[Elisha Cuthbert]]

Geoff
1. [[Lindsay Lohan]]- Why? none of us are sure...
2. [[Keira Knightley]]
[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Band]]

Talk:The Original Twelve

2008-05-29T07:01:02Z

Ross rifle113: New page: Yet another group of cool kids I'm not a part of. B.B.King's a douchebag though. ----

Yet another group of cool kids I'm not a part of. B.B.King's a douchebag though.

----

The Original Twelve

2008-05-29T06:56:10Z

Ross rifle113:

Bards and wandering storytellers often spin tales of the Original Twelve SydLexia.com Forum Members, a mysterious group of largely unrelated people who may hold the fate of our world in their hands. They are:

*Syd Lexia
*Spanky McCracken
*Valdronius
*Tebor
*Tuckster
*whos gilby?
*Kubo
*sunchild1
*cybersst
*B.B.King
*greeneyedzeke
*SamanthaMcPoopenstein

==The Core Six==
The six members of the Original Twelve who have posted regularly since joining are: Syd Lexia, S. McCracken, Valdronius, Tebor, Tuckster, and Kubo. While less senior forums members have played important roles on the forums and have been incredibly important to its growth, the Core Six are the nucleus around with the forums were built.

==The Defective Model==
In late 2007, B.B.King began having messianic delusions of grandeur. At the behest of the Core Six, he was placed in cold storage. He shall be held there indefinitely until such a time where his model can be properly debugged.

==The Final Five==
The Final Five members of the Original Twelve are whos gilby, cybersst, sunchild1, greeneyedzeke, and SamanthaMcPoopenstein. They are shrouded in mystery. Especially whos gilby, who has never posted.

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]

AC/DC

2008-05-17T17:47:12Z

Ross rifle113:

AC/DC, a rowdy pack of vertically-challenged Australians, is one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Actually, they're the only band on Earth that fits into the 'Rock' genre. All other bands fit into a sub-genre of rock, but AC/DC is just rock. They accomplish this feat with their brilliant combination of sexual lyrics, anthemic choruses, and power chords. AC/DC rocks.

== TRIVIA ==
*[[Ross Rifle]]'s middle name is Angus, named after AC/DC's lead guitarist Angus Young.
*Angus might have metal fingers. How else could he play the way he does? They would fall off if anyone else did that.

[[Category:Music]]

Celine Dion

2008-05-17T17:46:29Z

Ross rifle113:

Celine Dion is the Canadian Icon that everyone but Canadians love.

She's likes Helen Keller, except she makes other people wish they were deaf and blind.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]
{{DEFAULTSORT:Dion, Celine}}
[[Category:Singer]]
[[Category:Music]]

Chilliwack, BC

2008-04-14T23:25:39Z

Ross rifle113:

Chilliwack, British Columbia, is the shittiest shit town to ever shit. It's approximately 100 km from Vancouver, BC. It is [[Ross Rifle]]'s home town, as well as home base for [[Chainsaw Symphony]]. Chilliwack sucks.

== History ==
Chilliwack's first inhabitants were the Kipp family in the late 1800s. Throughout the 20th Century, Chilliwack grew. That's about it. Chilliwack sucks.

== The Joke ==
Who remembers Johnny Hart's "BC" comic strip? Every once in a while they'd have a joke where the one caveman says "My hometown is so small..." and the other caveman says "Oh yeah? How small was it?"-insert punchline here...

Well, Chilliwack is so small...

(How small is it?)

We never have elections for mayor because only one guy runs...

PS. That isn't a punchline. It's the truth. Another truth is that Chilliwack sucks.

== Region ==
Chilliwack sits in the middle of the beautiful Fraser Valley. It is bordered at the South by the Vedder River and at the North by the Fraser River. Chilliwack is surrounded by mountains and forest. It's also surrounded by Indian reserves, which isn't the best. Chilliwack sucks.

== Demographic ==
Chilliwack has about 70,000 residents. There's probably about 300 Asians, 5 African-Americans, 3 East Indians, 35,000 white people, and the rest First Nations people. As mentioned above, the town is surrounded by Indian reserves, so a very large number of Chilliwack's residents are drunk, poor, drug-addicted Native people. There's a bunch of homeless people too. Chilliwack also holds a Canadian record for most Churches per capita, as well as most grow-ops per capita...put that one together. Chilliwack sucks.

== City Centre ==
Chilliwack's downtown core is marked by Five Corners, a square that no one except Chilliwack drivers can seem to handle. At least half of the downtown core's businesses are abandoned. Chilliwack sucks.

==Notable Residents==
Chilliwack's most famous resident is [[Patrick Gallagher]].
Chilliwack's other residents include:
* [[Ross Rifle]] and [[Chainsaw Symphony]].
* The Heavy Metal Hobo-''once sold Ross Rifle the Alice Cooper issue of Rock N Roll Comics''
* Crazy Lady-''crazy old bitch who once lived down the street from Ross. She liked to run outside naked...''
* Mullet Man-''the infamous Mullet Man used to ride around town on his bike talking to himself.''
* Crazy Bike Guy-''once pulled a knife on Ross' mom.''
* Redbeard-''this homeless guy that Ross talks to. He rides his bike alot and is really nice.''
* Pirate Man-''Crazy fucker. Wears a horizontally striped shirt and has in depth conversations with himself.''
* Gay Boys- ''Live across the street from Ross. They only painted half their house, but they chopped down their shrubs and`ll have to finish the job. The have dogs and are gay.''
* JIMMY!!!!- ''Lives right across the street from Ross. He has a ham radio tower, keeps his house under tight lockdown, and most likely owns heavy artillery. His real name is unknown, but he was dubbed Jimmy by Ross and his dad after the retard on'' King of the Hill.
* Patrick-''an old high school friend of Chainsaw Symphony. He fell into hard drugs and is now a complete idiot.''

== Problems ==
Chilliwack is a fucking dump that should never be visited. Sometimes it gets scary walking at noon. There's a shitload of cracked out Natives and homeless people, and not nearly enough cops. There's gangs, a massive drug industry, and a large amount of prostitutes. Basically, all the problems of a major city, crammed into a small town. When driving down Yale, Chilliwack's #1 main road, you are guaranteed to see at least one of the following: hooker, crack head, teenage mother.

Another major problem is that the City is tearing down all of Chilliwack's houses and putting up apartments. It's fucking ridiculous. Ross Rifle is particularly angered as many of Chilliwack's houses are around 100 years old (his was built in 1888, the same year [[Jack the Ripper]] was running around ruining the shit of hookers in London).

The whole atmosphere of the town creates a very hostile environment. As a result, Chilliwack has greatly contributed to the crime rate in BC, and school fight videos on Youtube.

It also doesn't help that ol' Wheels (Mayor Sam Sullivan) in Vancouver is clearing out his town for the [[2010 Olympics]] and sending all the dregs of society to outlying town, without giving a shit.

A recent study has shown that Chilliwack is the 7th most dangerous city in Canada. Nearby Vancouver, with a population of 2.25 million people, sits two spots lower.

Lastly, Chilliwack sucks.

== Things To Do In Chilliwack ==
As Chilliwack closes at 10pm and is more entertaining after that, here's a list of activities that Ross and his friends like to partake in:
* Get drunk.
* Walk around.
* Get drunk and walk around.
* Walk all the way across town and back.
* Go to 7-11.
* Walk in the middle of the road and get in trouble with the cops.
* Flip off cops.
* Knock over mailboxes.
* Knock over dumpsters.
* Break windows, TVs, etc.
* Go up Little Mountain and throw things off the cliff.
* Basically do anything that'll cause a loud noise and potentially maybe piss people off.
* Chilliwack sucks.

== Thoughts ==
Chilliwack sucks, and I want out-Ross Rifle

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Chilliwack, BC

2008-04-13T05:39:49Z

Ross rifle113: /* Notable Residents */

Chilliwack, British Columbia, is the shittiest shit town to ever shit. It's approximately 100 km from Vancouver, BC. It is [[Ross Rifle]]'s home town, as well as home base for [[Chainsaw Symphony]]. Chilliwack sucks.

== History ==
Chilliwack's first inhabitants were the Kipp family in the late 1800s. Throughout the 20th Century, Chilliwack grew. That's about it. Chilliwack sucks.

== Region ==
Chilliwack sits in the middle of the beautiful Fraser Valley. It is bordered at the South by the Vedder River and at the North by the Fraser River. Chilliwack is surrounded by mountains and forest. It's also surrounded by Indian reserves, which isn't the best. Chilliwack sucks.

== Demographic ==
Chilliwack has about 70,000 residents. There's probably about 300 Asians, 5 African-Americans, 3 East Indians, 35,000 white people, and the rest First Nations people. As mentioned above, the town is surrounded by Indian reserves, so a very large number of Chilliwack's residents are drunk, poor, drug-addicted Native people. There's a bunch of homeless people too. Chilliwack also holds a Canadian record for most Churches per capita, as well as most grow-ops per capita...put that one together. Chilliwack sucks.

== City Centre ==
Chilliwack's downtown core is marked by Five Corners, a square that no one except Chilliwack drivers can seem to handle. At least half of the downtown core's businesses are abandoned. Chilliwack sucks.

==Notable Residents==
Chilliwack's most famous resident is [[Patrick Gallagher]].
Chilliwack's other residents include:
* [[Ross Rifle]] and [[Chainsaw Symphony]].
* The Heavy Metal Hobo-''once sold Ross Rifle the Alice Cooper issue of Rock N Roll Comics''
* Crazy Lady-''crazy old bitch who once lived down the street from Ross. She liked to run outside naked...''
* Mullet Man-''the infamous Mullet Man used to ride around town on his bike talking to himself.''
* Crazy Bike Guy-''once pulled a knife on Ross' mom.''
* Redbeard-''this homeless guy that Ross talks to. He rides his bike alot and is really nice.''
* Pirate Man-''Crazy fucker. Wears a horizontally striped shirt and has in depth conversations with himself.''
* Gay Boys- ''Live across the street from Ross. They only painted half their house, but they chopped down their shrubs and`ll have to finish the job. The have dogs and are gay.''
* JIMMY!!!!- ''Lives right across the street from Ross. He has a ham radio tower, keeps his house under tight lockdown, and most likely owns heavy artillery. His real name is unknown, but he was dubbed Jimmy by Ross and his dad after the retard on'' King of the Hill.
* Patrick-''an old high school friend of Chainsaw Symphony. He fell into hard drugs and is now a complete idiot.''

== Problems ==
Chilliwack is a fucking dump that should never be visited. Sometimes it gets scary walking at noon. There's a shitload of cracked out Natives and homeless people, and not nearly enough cops. There's gangs, a massive drug industry, and a large amount of prostitutes. Basically, all the problems of a major city, crammed into a small town. When driving down Yale, Chilliwack's #1 main road, you are guaranteed to see at least one of the following: hooker, crack head, teenage mother.

Another major problem is that the City is tearing down all of Chilliwack's houses and putting up apartments. It's fucking ridiculous. Ross Rifle is particularly angered as many of Chilliwack's houses are around 100 years old (his was built in 1888, the same year [[Jack the Ripper]] was running around ruining the shit of hookers in London).

The whole atmosphere of the town creates a very hostile environment. As a result, Chilliwack has greatly contributed to the crime rate in BC, and school fight videos on Youtube.

It also doesn't help that ol' Wheels (Mayor Sam Sullivan) in Vancouver is clearing out his town for the [[2010 Olympics]] and sending all the dregs of society to outlying town, without giving a shit.

A recent study has shown that Chilliwack is the 7th most dangerous city in Canada. Nearby Vancouver, with a population of 2.25 million people, sits two spots lower.

Lastly, Chilliwack sucks.

== Things To Do In Chilliwack ==
As Chilliwack closes at 10pm and is more entertaining after that, here's a list of activities that Ross and his friends like to partake in:
* Get drunk.
* Walk around.
* Get drunk and walk around.
* Walk all the way across town and back.
* Go to 7-11.
* Walk in the middle of the road and get in trouble with the cops.
* Flip off cops.
* Knock over mailboxes.
* Knock over dumpsters.
* Break windows, TVs, etc.
* Go up Little Mountain and throw things off the cliff.
* Basically do anything that'll cause a loud noise and potentially maybe piss people off.
* Chilliwack sucks.

== Thoughts ==
Chilliwack sucks, and I want out-Ross Rifle

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Fucking Province of: British Columbia

2008-04-08T04:59:28Z

Ross rifle113: New page: Oh boy, where to begin British Columbia is absolutely gorgeous, arguably the most beautiful province in Canada. Too bad there's many things that make it suck. * Our Premier (ie. Senato...

Oh boy, where to begin

British Columbia is absolutely gorgeous, arguably the most beautiful province in Canada.

Too bad there's many things that make it suck.

* Our Premier (ie. Senator) was busted drinking and driving...still in office.
* Our Premier fucked our entire system...still in office.
* The 2010 Olympics are ass-raping the economy three ways to Sunday.
* Don't go to [[Chilliwack, BC|Chilliwack]], Surrey, or Mission.
* On that note, British Columbia is home of Chilliwack.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Chilliwack, BC

2008-03-14T22:05:16Z

Ross rifle113:

Chilliwack, British Columbia, is the shittiest shit town to ever shit. It's approximately 100 km from Vancouver, BC. It is [[Ross Rifle]]'s home town, as well as home base for [[Chainsaw Symphony]]. Chilliwack sucks.

== History ==
Chilliwack's first inhabitants were the Kipp family in the late 1800s. Throughout the 20th Century, Chilliwack grew. That's about it. Chilliwack sucks.

== Region ==
Chilliwack sits in the middle of the beautiful Fraser Valley. It is bordered at the South by the Vedder River and at the North by the Fraser River. Chilliwack is surrounded by mountains and forest. It's also surrounded by Indian reserves, which isn't the best. Chilliwack sucks.

== Demographic ==
Chilliwack has about 70,000 residents. There's probably about 300 Asians, 5 African-Americans, 3 East Indians, 35,000 white people, and the rest First Nations people. As mentioned above, the town is surrounded by Indian reserves, so a very large number of Chilliwack's residents are drunk, poor, drug-addicted Native people. There's a bunch of homeless people too. Chilliwack also holds a Canadian record for most Churches per capita, as well as most grow-ops per capita...put that one together. Chilliwack sucks.

== City Centre ==
Chilliwack's downtown core is marked by Five Corners, a square that no one except Chilliwack drivers can seem to handle. At least half of the downtown core's businesses are abandoned. Chilliwack sucks.

==Notable Residents==
Chilliwack's most famous resident is [[Patrick Gallagher]].
Chilliwack's other residents include:
* [[Ross Rifle]] and [[Chainsaw Symphony]].
* The Heavy Metal Hobo-''once sold Ross Rifle the Alice Cooper issue of Rock N Roll Comics''
* Crazy Lady-''crazy old bitch who once lived down the street from Ross. She liked to run outside naked...''
* Mullet Man-''the infamous Mullet Man used to ride around town on his bike talking to himself.''
* Crazy Bike Guy-''once pulled a knife on Ross' mom.''
* Redbeard-''this homeless guy that Ross talks to. He rides his bike alot and is really nice.''
* Patrick-''an old high school friend of Chainsaw Symphony. He fell into hard drugs and is now a complete idiot.''

== Problems ==
Chilliwack is a fucking dump that should never be visited. Sometimes it gets scary walking at noon. There's a shitload of cracked out Natives and homeless people, and not nearly enough cops. There's gangs, a massive drug industry, and a large amount of prostitutes. Basically, all the problems of a major city, crammed into a small town. When driving down Yale, Chilliwack's #1 main road, you are guaranteed to see at least one of the following: hooker, crack head, teenage mother.

Another major problem is that the City is tearing down all of Chilliwack's houses and putting up apartments. It's fucking ridiculous. Ross Rifle is particularly angered as many of Chilliwack's houses are around 100 years old (his was built in 1888, the same year [[Jack the Ripper]] was running around ruining the shit of hookers in London).

The whole atmosphere of the town creates a very hostile environment. As a result, Chilliwack has greatly contributed to the crime rate in BC, and school fight videos on Youtube.

It also doesn't help that ol' Wheels (Mayor Sam Sullivan) in Vancouver is clearing out his town for the [[2010 Olympics]] and sending all the dregs of society to outlying town, without giving a shit.

A recent study has shown that Chilliwack is the 7th most dangerous city in Canada. Nearby Vancouver, with a population of 2.25 million people, sits two spots lower.

Lastly, Chilliwack sucks.

== Things To Do In Chilliwack ==
As Chilliwack closes at 10pm and is more entertaining after that, here's a list of activities that Ross and his friends like to partake in:
* Get drunk.
* Walk around.
* Get drunk and walk around.
* Walk all the way across town and back.
* Go to 7-11.
* Walk in the middle of the road and get in trouble with the cops.
* Flip off cops.
* Knock over mailboxes.
* Knock over dumpsters.
* Break windows, TVs, etc.
* Go up Little Mountain and throw things off the cliff.
* Basically do anything that'll cause a loud noise and potentially maybe piss people off.
* Chilliwack sucks.

== Thoughts ==
Chilliwack sucks, and I want out-Ross Rifle

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Replacement Singer Syndrome

2008-03-11T05:25:40Z

Ross rifle113:

Replacement Singer Syndrome, or RSS, is the disorder that befalls a singer that replaces a favourite singer in a band. This syndrome is the opposite of [[The Second Singer Effect]].

== Why Does It Happen? ==
Most of the time, RSS is not the fault of the singer. He is put into the impossible shoes of replacing an integral member of a band, and the singer of a band is usually the most well-known. Fan complaints of the band sounding different stems from a) The new singer having an effect on the writing process, or b) the band writing different/inferior material. Those affected by RSS usually don't last more than two albums with the band.

== Notable Sufferers of RSS ==
* [[Gary Cherone]]- replaced [[David Lee Roth]] and [[Sammy Hagar]] in [[Van Halen]].
* John Corabi- replaced Vince Neil in Motley Crue.
* Blaze Bayley- replaced Bruce Dickenson in Iron Maiden.
* Tim 'Ripper' Owens- replaced Rob Halford in Judas Priest.
* Ian Astbury- sorta replaced Jim Morrison in The Doors.
* Tony Martin- replaced Ozzy Osbourne and Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath.
* [[Axl Rose]] - [[Guns N' Roses]] sans [[Slash]], [[Duff]], [[Steven Adler]], and [[Izzy]]. He calls it GNR, but the fans call it the "New GNR". So he was both the original singer, and the new singer.

== Disputed Sufferers ==

* Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath
* Sammy Hagar in Van Halen.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

The Second Singer Effect

2008-03-11T05:23:58Z

Ross rifle113:

The Second Singer Effect is what takes place when a replacement singer takes their respective band to a new degree of fame not reached by their preceeder.

== Notable Second Singers ==
* Brian Johnson in [[AC/DC]]
* [[Sammy Hagar]] in [[Van Halen]]- ''brought the band to a commercial height, though less beloved to fans than [[David Lee Roth]].''
* Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath-'' has as big a following as Ozzy did in the band.''
** '''EDIT: Has fans as rabid as Ozzy-era fans.'''
* Bruce Dickenson in Iron Maiden.
* David Gilmour in Pink Floyd.-''technically not a lead singer, but the band had far more success with him than with Syd Barrett.''

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

The Second Singer Effect

2008-03-10T16:48:12Z

Ross rifle113: New page: The Second Singer Effect is what takes place when a replacement singer takes their respective band to a new degree of fame not reached by their preceeder. == Notable Second Singers == * ...

The Second Singer Effect is what takes place when a replacement singer takes their respective band to a new degree of fame not reached by their preceeder.

== Notable Second Singers ==
* Brian Johnson in [[AC/DC]]
* [[Sammy Hagar]] in [[Van Halen]]- ''brought the band to a commercial height, though less beloved to fans than [[David Lee Roth]].''
* Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath-'' has as big a following as Ozzy did in the band.''
* Bruce Dickenson in Iron Maiden.
* David Gilmour in Pink Floyd.-''technically not a lead singer, but the band had far more success with him than with Syd Barrett.''

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Replacement Singer Syndrome

2008-03-10T16:43:40Z

Ross rifle113:

Replacement Singer Syndrome, or RSS, is the disorder that befalls a singer that replaces a favourite singer in a band. This syndrome is the opposite of [[The Second Singer Effect]].

== Why Does It Happen? ==
Most of the time, RSS is not the fault of the singer. He is put into the impossible shoes of replacing an integral member of a band, and the singer of a band is usually the most well-known. Fan complaints of the band sounding different stems from a) The new singer having an effect on the writing process, or b) the band writing different/inferior material. Those affected by RSS usually don't last more than two albums with the band.

== Notable Sufferers of RSS ==
* [[Gary Cherone]]- replaced [[David Lee Roth]] and [[Sammy Hagar]] in [[Van Halen]].
* John Corabi- replaced Vince Neil in Motley Crue.
* Blaze Bayley- replaced Bruce Dickenson in Iron Maiden.
* Tim 'Ripper' Owens- replaced Rob Halford in Judas Priest.
* Ian Astbury- sorta replaced Jim Morrison in The Doors.
* Tony Martin- replaced Ozzy Osbourne and Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath.

== Disputed Sufferers ==

* Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath
* Sammy Hagar in Van Halen.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Replacement Singer Syndrome

2008-03-10T16:43:16Z

Ross rifle113:

Replacement Singer Syndrome, or RSS, is the disorder that befalls a singer that replaces a favourite singer in a band. This syndrome is the opposite of [[The Second Singer Effect]].

== Why Does It Happen? ==
Most of the time, RSS is not the fault of the singer. He is put into the impossible shoes of replacing an integral member of a band, and the singer of a band is usually the most well-known. Fan complaints of the band sounding different stems from a) The new singer having an effect on the writing process, or b) the band writing different/inferior material. Those affected by RSS usually don't last more than two albums with the band.

== Notable Sufferers of RSS ==
* [[Gary Cherone]]- replaced [[David Lee Roth]] and [[Sammy Hagar]] in [[Van Halen]].
* John Corabi- replaced Vince Neil in Motley Crue.
* Blaze Bayley- replaced Bruce Dickenson in Iron Maiden.
* Tim 'Ripper' Owens- replaced Rob Halford in Judas Priest.
* Ian Astbury- sorta replaced Jim Morrison in The Doors.
* Tony Martin- replaced Ozzy Osbourne and Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath.

[[Argued Sufferers]]
* Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath
* Sammy Hagar in Van Halen.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Replacement Singer Syndrome

2008-03-10T16:42:58Z

Ross rifle113: New page: Replacement Singer Syndrome, or RSS, is the disorder that befalls a singer that replaces a favourite singer in a band. This syndrome is the opposite of The Second Singer Effect. == W...

Replacement Singer Syndrome, or RSS, is the disorder that befalls a singer that replaces a favourite singer in a band. This syndrome is the opposite of [[The Second Singer Effect]].

== Why Does It Happen? ==
Most of the time, RSS is not the fault of the singer. He is put into the impossible shoes of replacing an integral member of a band, and the singer of a band is usually the most well-known. Fan complaints of the band sounding different stems from a) The new singer having an effect on the writing process, or b) the band writing different/inferior material. Those affected by RSS usually don't last more than two albums with the band.

== Notable Sufferers of RSS ==
* [[Gary Cherone]]- replaced [[David Lee Roth]] and [[Sammy Hagar]] in [[Van Halen]].
* John Corabi- replaced Vince Neil in Motley Crue.
* Blaze Bayley- replaced Bruce Dickenson in Iron Maiden.
* Tim 'Ripper' Owens- replaced Rob Halford in Judas Priest.
* Ian Astbury- sorta replaced Jim Morrison in The Doors.
* Tony Martin- replaced Ozzy Osbourne and Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath.

[[Argued Sufferers]]
* Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath
* Sammy Hagar in Van Halen.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Van Halen

2008-03-10T16:32:21Z

Ross rifle113: /* '''Trivia''' */

Van Halen is a band. They fucking rock. They've had more personnel changes than your mother's late night client roster. [[Ross Rifle]] has taken it upon himself to write the entire history of Van Halen for you, the fan, and you, the want-to-be-fan.

== History ==
=== '''The Beginning''' ===
Van Halen was started by brothers Edward and Alex Van Halen, Dutch immigrants who moved to Pasadena, California, when they were 12 and 14, respectively. They were born into a musical family, their father Jan being a band leader. After years of tedious piano and violin lessons, Eddie and Alex were struck by the rock bug. Alex decided to play guitar and Eddie got a drum kit. While Eddie was out delivering papers to pay for his kit, Alex was using it. When Eddie heard Alex play the drum solo from 'Wipeout', he called for a trade. The rest, as they say, is history.
They played in a few bands throughout their teenage years, such as Genesis (not to be confused with the Phil Collins/Peter Gabriel power trio) and the Trojan Rubber Company. They met a bassist named Mark Stone and formed the power trio Mammoth. A little while later Stone left and they recruited [[Michael Anthony]] from the group Snake. They started renting a PA system from [[David Lee Roth]], a dentist's son fronting the group Redball Jet. Soon they decided that it would be cheaper to have Roth in the band and asked him to join. When they found out that another group in the area was already named Mammoth, Roth suggested they change their name to Van Halen.
After making their bones on the Sunset Strip circuit, they were discovered by Gene Simmons, who paid to finance their demo. The demo got them nowhere, but one night Mo Ostin of Warner Bros. came in and heard them. They were instantly given a deal.

----
=== '''The Roth Years 78-85''' ===
Van Halen released their eponymous debut in early 1978, during the height of Disco and Punk. Disco and Punk effectively died after the album came out. It became the ultimate party album, chock-full of radio friendly hits, such as "Jamie's Cryin'", "Runnin' With The Devil", "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" and a zesty cover of the Kinks' "You Really Got Me". It was the album's second track, an instrumental called "Eruption", that made the album really special. A one minute, 42 second display of Eddie Van Halen's innovative technique turned him into a guitar hero, and changed the way guitar was played, virtually overnight. Van Halen embarked on a successful tour opening for Black Sabbath, whom they blew off the stage every night.

Less than a week after their first tour, Van Halen headed into the studio to record ''Van Halen II''. The album took just over a week to produce, and featured "Dance The Night Away", the band's first top 15 hit. The album also featured the classic "Beautiful Girls" and the underrated "Light Up The Sky", as well as "Spanish Fly", another instrumental that demonstrated Eddie's talent on acoustic guitar. The band headed out on a headlining tour.

Less than a year after ''Van Halen II'', the band released ''Women and Children First''. It was grittier and better demonstrated the band's style of recording live in the studio, with Roth periodically ad-libbing lines. The album featured "And The Cradle Will Rock" and "Everybody Wants Some!!", which was featured prominently in the John Cusack film ''Better Off Dead''. During the 1980 tour, tensions in the band started to rise, as evident on their follow-up album, 1981's ''Fair Warning''.

During the recording sessions for ''Fair Warning'', Eddie would constantly come into the studio at 4 am to record parts. One example of this was the track "Push Comes To Shove". It features a guitar solo that Eddie played at least 20 times, none of the takes being to the liking of producer Ted Templeman. Eddie went in to the studio late that night and recorded the same solo. When he presented it to Templeman later, it was accepted. Though this album's single was "So This Is Love?", a classic track that never charted, it is best known for the radio staple "Unchained".

After four years of nonstop recording and touring, Van Halen decided to a vacation. Before they all left, they decided to record a quick cover of Roy Orbison's "(Oh) Pretty Woman", just to keep their name out there. The single immediately launched up the charts, and the band had to enter the studio to record an album. The result, 1982's ''Diver Down'', though an exceptional album, was a rather weak effort, consisting of 3 instrumentals and 4 covers in its 12 song list. The album became their most successful at that point, despite arguments over a cover of Martha and the Vandellas' "Dancing In The Street", which Eddie was not satisfied with. After the ensuing tour, the band took a year off.

In 1983, David Lee Roth went on a trip to the Amazon, Michael Anthony went to Disneyland (according to Eddie), and Alex did...something. Eddie recieved a phone call one day from Quincy Jones, asking to do a solo for [[Michael Jackson]]'s upcoming album. Eddie went in and played a solo for the track "Beat It". As he didn't want the rest of the band to know, he did it as a favour, figuring nobody would know it was him. Of course, ''Thriller'', the album "Beat It" is from, became the best-selling album of all time, and Eddie recieved no royalties.

Later in 1983, the band got back together to record. The resulting effort was 1984's ''MCMLXXXIV'', which featured the hits "Panama", "Hot For Teacher", "I'll Wait", and their first #1 hit, "Jump". Unfortunately, tensions over the band's new synthesizer-fueled, pop-oriented direction, and Roth's impending solo album and movie career drew the band apart. David Lee Roth announced his departure from the band on April 1st, 1985...seriously. Not long after, Van Halen recruited [[Sammy Hagar]] to sing...seriously.

----
=== '''The Hagar Years 85-96''' ===
With the release of 1986's ''5150'', a new phase of Van Halen was born. The band started to produce their own material in Eddie's home studio, and Ed started to experiment with synthesizers. The result was a power-pop sound which, while not as popular with fans, was far more commercially successful, with ''5150'' becoming the band's first #1 album. Although "Why Can't This Be Love" and "Dreams" became hit singles, the album succeeded without the strength of any videos on MTV. After a successful tour and their first concert film, "Live Without A Net", the Van Halen boys got back to work.

1988's ''OU812'' marked Van Halen's second #1 album. It featured te hits "When It's Love" and "Finish What Ya Started", both of which had regularly rotated videos on MTV. They embarked on two tours, the second being the Monsters of Rock tour in 1988.

Van Halen released their third straight #1 album, the cleverly titled ''For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge'', in 1991. It marked a return to the band's hard rock style, only featuring piano on their hit "Right Now". The album also featured "Poundcake", "Top of the World" and "Runaround", as well as "316", an instrumental in dedication of his son Wolfgang's birth, on March 16, 1991. The band enjoyed another successful tour, with their first live album, ''Right Here Right Now'' being released in 1993.

By the time Van Halen recorded their fourth album with Hagar, ''Balance'', in 1995, tensions were starting to rise within its ranks. Eddie had just come out of rehab and had found God, and Hagar was refusing to write lyrics, resulting in two instrumentals. The album was heavy and featured deeper, more introspective lyrics, and became the band's fourth #1 album.

Band tensions came to a head in '96, over "Humans Being", a song contributed to the ''Twister'' soundtrack, and the track list on their upcoming Best Of Collection, which was to feature two new songs with David Lee Roth, who had joined the band in the studio while Hagar was away. Hagar left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The New Roth Year 96''' ===
At the 1996 MTV Music Video Awards Eddie, Alex, and Mike appeared live on stage with David Lee Roth to present an award. They recieved a two minute standing ovation. After the show, it was reported that Ed and Dave got in a fight and Dave was out. Many fans were devastated that their 11 year dream of a reunion was smashed, and that they had been subject to a publicity stunt to sell copies of their best of (it worked). Roth left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Cherone Years 98-99''' ===
In 1998 it was announced that the Van Halen camp had hired Gary Cherone of Boston group [[Extreme]] to front them. The resulting album was ''Van Halen III'', which, although an excellent album by any standards, was the group's worst selling. By 1999, Cherone was out, and four years of silence followed.

----
=== '''Four Years of Silence 00-04''' ===
Between 2000 and 2004, there was much turmoil in the Van Halen world. Though no one is sure of all that went down, some things have been confirmed:
*Eddie recieved a hip replacement.
*Eddie successfully battled tongue cancer.
*Eddie divorced Valerie Bertinelli, his wife of 20 years.
*Eddie, Alex, and Mike reunited with Dave on 3 occasions, all of which ended badly.
*It was later revealed that Michael Anthony played bass on only three tracks on ''Van Halen III''.

----
=== '''The New Hagar Year 04''' ===
In 2004, seemingly out of the blue, Van Halen reunited with Sammy Hagar. They released a new best of, ''The Best of Both Worlds'', featuring three new tracks with Sammy. They then embarked on a North American tour. The tour was largely considered overpriced (Ross Rifle will attest to this), and Eddie, who had fallen off the wagon, was a mess most nights. The tour grossed massive dollars, but by the end, Sammy left, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Seeming End of Van Halen 05-07''' ===
After the tour, Van Halen disappeared off the map. Eddie teamed up with MXR to release signature phaser and flanger pedals, and teamed up with Charvel to make replicas of his three famous custom guitars. Sammy toured as a solo artist, with Mike joining him as "The Other Half". Eddie then announced a partnership with Fender guitars, who created a perfect replica of his legendary Frankenstein guitar, as well as launched his own "EVH" line of guitar products.

In 2007, Van Halen was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There were rumours of a Dave/Van Halen reunion with Eddie's teenage son Wolfgang on bass, but Eddie checked himself into rehab, making himself (and Alex) unavailable for the induction. Dave refused to show when Velvet Revolver, who were paying tribute to them, said they would rather do "You Really Got Me" than "Jump". Only Sammy and Mike, who were no longer members of the band, were there to accept the induction. Gary Cherone was not inducted. It truly seemed like a sad end to one of the greatest rock bands on Earth.

----

=== '''The New Roth Year(s?) 07-??''' ===
About a month after the RnRHOF induction, Eddie made his first post-rehab appearance, looking healthy and clean-cut. He had an interview with Guitar World promoting his new 5150III amp, and the fountain of hope soon began to flow. Sure enough, on August 13th, 2007, Van Halen, consisting of Eddie, Alex, and Wolfgang Van Halen, as well as David Lee Roth, held a press conference announcing a North American tour. The tour, originally slated for 25 dates, commenced on September 27th. It has since been extended four months until April 08, and is one of the most successful tours in history, selling out nearly every show, and making the band an estimated $1.5 million a night. Once again, the Mightiest Band in all the Land is rocking the nation, with a proposed World Tour and upcoming album, which would pretty much make Ross Rifle cream his pants.

----
== '''Line-Ups''' ==

=== 1974-1985 ===
*[[David Lee Roth]]-Vocals, Guitar
*[[Eddie Van Halen]]-Guitar, Keyboards, Backing Vocals
*[[Michael Anthony]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*[[Alex Van Halen]]-Drums

=== 1985-1996 ===
*[[Sammy Hagar]]-Vocals, Guitar
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1996 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1998-1999 ===
*[[Gary Cherone]]-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Drums, Vocals, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2004 ===
*Sammy Hagar-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2007 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*[[Wolfgang Van Halen]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

== '''Influence''' ==
Since the beginning, Eddie Van Halen has been considered the greatest guitarist since Jimi Hendrix, and pretty much every guitarist since him had tried to be as good as him. His custom guitars also influenced most 80s metal guitars, and music nerds have been trying to cop his "Brown Sound" tone for decades.

Van Halen were innovators in the music video ring as well. Their three videos from ''MCMLXXXIV'' created three important genres of video: the studio preformance (Jump), stage performance (Panama) and situational (Hot For Teacher). The latter was also one of the first videos to get banned for its latent sexuality.

Surprisingly enough, Eddie Van Halen was instrumental in getting African-Americans on MTV. His collaboration with Michael Jackson on "Beat It" also helped get MJ on rock radio and Van Halen on pop radio.

== '''Trivia''' ==
*Van Halen fuckin rules.
*Ross Rifle loves Van Halen.
*Gary Cherone suffered from the same syndrome as Tim 'Ripper' Ownes, Blaze Bayley, and John Corabi. That syndrome is [[Replacement Singer Syndrome]], where a singer is put into the impossible shoes of a fan favorite.
*Van Halen coined 'LSD', or 'Lead Singer's Disease'.
*At least 3 of the members of Van Halen have probably had sex with your mother, wife, or sister.
*Now that Van Halen and Led Zeppelin have reunited, there will no longer be any reunion tour EVER.
*There's a little Van Halen in everybody.
*[[GPFontaine]] Saw them during a Cherone concert. The band was great, the singer was not.
[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]][[Category:Band]]

Ross Rifle

2008-02-25T09:54:22Z

Ross rifle113:

== '''The Legend of Ross Rifle''' ==

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "[[Sweet Child O' Mine]]" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard [[Eddie Van Halen]]'s legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He is now lead guitarist in [[Chainsaw Symphony]], and is always playing his guitar. Ross Rifle also has a [[Ross Rifle's Ball Crushing Record Collection|ball crushing record collection]]

== '''Ross Rifle's Guns''' ==

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

''Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast'': Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

''Red'': Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

''Blackie'': Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

''Marion'': Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

''Esmerlda the Pirate Wench'': Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

''Betty Boop'': Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

== '''Trivia''' ==

* Ross Rifle rules.
* He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a Ross Rifle?". He laughed.
* [[Van Halen]] is his favourite band ever.
* His top 5 guitarists are as follows: [[Eddie Van Halen]], [[Slash]], [[Jimi Hendrix]], [[Jimmy Page]], [[Tony Iommi]].
* His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of [[AC/DC]].
* Though his favourite music lies in the [[Classic Rock]]/[[Hard Rock]]/[[Heavy Metal]] genre, he is an admitted fan of [[Frank Sinatra]], [[James Brown]], and [[Rihanna]].
* Ross Rifle hasn't cut his hair in four years. He's saved a lot of money, but if he wants to maintain his metal hair, he's gotta start getting regular trims. Plus, he just pulled the biggest fucking knot out of his hair. '''EDIT:'''Ross Rifle got his hair cut to shoulder-length. The ladies really dig it.
* He is a former [[Spelling Bee|spelling bee]] champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
* Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

== Beliefs ==
[[Rock N' Roll]] will never die.

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]
[[Category:Forum Members]]

Chilliwack, BC

2008-02-25T09:51:21Z

Ross rifle113:

Chilliwack, British Columbia, is the shittiest shit town to ever shit. It's approximately 100 km from Vancouver, BC. It is [[Ross Rifle]]'s home town, as well as home base for [[Chainsaw Symphony]]. Chilliwack sucks.

== History ==
Chilliwack's first inhabitants were the Kipp family in the late 1800s. Throughout the 20th Century, Chilliwack grew. That's about it. Chilliwack sucks.

== Region ==
Chilliwack sits in the middle of the beautiful Fraser Valley. It is bordered at the South by the Vedder River and at the North by the Fraser River. Chilliwack is surrounded by mountains and forest. It's also surrounded by Indian reserves, which isn't the best. Chilliwack sucks.

== Demographic ==
Chilliwack has about 60,000 residents. There's probably about 300 Asians, 5 African-Americans, 3 East Indians, 35,000 white people, and the rest First Nations people. As mentioned above, the town is surrounded by Indian reserves, so a very large number of Chilliwack's residents are drunk, poor, drug-addicted Native people. There's a bunch of homeless people too. Chilliwack also holds a Canadian record for most Churches per capita, as well as most grow-ops per capita...put that one together. Chilliwack sucks.

== City Centre ==
Chilliwack's downtown core is marked by Five Corners, a square that no one except Chilliwack drivers can seem to handle. At least half of the downtown core's businesses are abandoned. Chilliwack sucks.

==Notable Residents==
Chilliwack's most famous resident is [[Patrick Gallagher]].
Chilliwack's other residents include:
* [[Ross Rifle]] and [[Chainsaw Symphony]].
* The Heavy Metal Hobo-''once sold Ross Rifle the Alice Cooper issue of Rock N Roll Comics''
* Crazy Lady-''crazy old bitch who once lived down the street from Ross. She liked to run outside naked...''
* Mullet Man-''the infamous Mullet Man used to ride around town on his bike talking to himself.''
* Crazy Bike Guy-''once pulled a knife on Ross' mom.''
* Redbeard-''this homeless guy that Ross talks to. He rides his bike alot and is really nice.''
* Patrick-''an old high school friend of Chainsaw Symphony. He fell into hard drugs and is now a complete idiot.''

== Problems ==
Chilliwack is a fucking dump that should never be visited. Sometimes it gets scary walking at noon. There's a shitload of cracked out Natives and homeless people, and not nearly enough cops. There's gangs, a massive drug industry, and a large amount of prostitutes. Basically, all the problems of a major city, crammed into a small town. When driving down Yale, Chilliwack's #1 main road, you are guaranteed to see at least one of the following: hooker, crack head, teenage mother.

Another major problem is that the City is tearing down all of Chilliwack's houses and putting up apartments. It's fucking ridiculous. Ross Rifle is particularly angered as many of Chilliwack's houses are around 100 years old (his was built in 1888, the same year [[Jack the Ripper]] was running around ruining the shit of hookers in London).

The whole atmosphere of the town creates a very hostile environment. As a result, Chilliwack has greatly contributed to the crime rate in BC, and school fight videos on Youtube.

It also doesn't help that ol' Wheels (Mayor Sam Sullivan) in Vancouver is clearing out his town for the [[2010 Olympics]] and sending all the dregs of society to outlying town, without giving a shit.

Lastly, Chilliwack sucks.

== Things To Do In Chilliwack ==
As Chilliwack closes at 10pm and is more entertaining after that, here's a list of activities that Ross and his friends like to partake in:
* Get drunk.
* Walk around.
* Get drunk and walk around.
* Walk all the way across town and back.
* Go to 7-11.
* Walk in the middle of the road and get in trouble with the cops.
* Flip off cops.
* Knock over mailboxes.
* Knock over dumpsters.
* Break windows, TVs, etc.
* Go up Little Mountain and throw things off the cliff.
* Basically do anything that'll cause a loud noise and potentially maybe piss people off.
* Chilliwack sucks.

== Thoughts ==
Chilliwack sucks, and I want out-Ross Rifle

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

Spelling Bee

2008-02-25T09:45:22Z

Ross rifle113: /* Forum Members Who Were In a Spelling Bee */

A Spelling Bee is a competition in which contestants take turns spelling words. Usually if you spell a word wrong you're out.

== Forum Members Who Were In a Spelling Bee ==
* MOGHARR
* [[Ross Rifle]]

===Forum Members Who Almost Won===
MOGHARR-3rd place in multiple bees.

===Forum Members Who Did Win===
Ross Rifle

== Trivia ==
* In one contest after a brutal 11 rounds of correctly spelled words, MOGHARR asked the judges to use his current word in a sentence. After hearing it stated aloud he began to spell it out, "M I C R O P E N I aye ya Oh Oh Ouch" he fell off stage and began to scream in pain as he curled into the fetal position. Unfortunately he had been stung in his left testicle by a bee. Despite the irony and his failing medical condition, the judges claimed that he had failed to spell Micropenis correctly and he was disqualified from the competition for causing a commotion.

* Ross Rifle's Spelling Bee trophy from 9th grade is the only trophy he's ever won. At the year end awards ceremony, he got to go up in front of the whole school and accept it. It was pretty semi-cool.

Spelling Bee

2008-02-25T09:44:56Z

Ross rifle113:

A Spelling Bee is a competition in which contestants take turns spelling words. Usually if you spell a word wrong you're out.

== Forum Members Who Were In a Spelling Bee ==
MOGHARR
[[Ross Rifle]]

===Forum Members Who Almost Won===
MOGHARR-3rd place in multiple bees.

===Forum Members Who Did Win===
Ross Rifle

== Trivia ==
* In one contest after a brutal 11 rounds of correctly spelled words, MOGHARR asked the judges to use his current word in a sentence. After hearing it stated aloud he began to spell it out, "M I C R O P E N I aye ya Oh Oh Ouch" he fell off stage and began to scream in pain as he curled into the fetal position. Unfortunately he had been stung in his left testicle by a bee. Despite the irony and his failing medical condition, the judges claimed that he had failed to spell Micropenis correctly and he was disqualified from the competition for causing a commotion.

* Ross Rifle's Spelling Bee trophy from 9th grade is the only trophy he's ever won. At the year end awards ceremony, he got to go up in front of the whole school and accept it. It was pretty semi-cool.

Patrick Gallagher

2008-02-20T05:32:49Z

Ross rifle113: /* Trivia */

'''Patrick Gallagher''' is quite possibly the worlds most gifted actor.

Despite his amazing screen presence, he has only been in a few [[Hollywood]] films. Sadly, only one of those films is known by the masses. Even more sadly, it is [[A Night at the Museum]].

Though his appearances are limited, his screen effect in those precious moments is breathtaking.

== His Finest Moment ==
As you can see, the image here depicts Patrick Gallagher in his finest on screen moment. He is acting as though he is [[Attila the Hun]] trying to grab through the doors of an elevator.

Who else could pull this off? I actually believe as I watch him that he is in fact Attila the Hun and he really is trying to grab inside an elevator.

[[Image:Patrick_Gallagher_Elevator.jpg|thumb|center|500px|Patrick Gallagher at the pinnacle of screen acting.]]

== Where the Talent Comes From ==
It would be silly to think that Patrick Gallagher was born with such fine abilities. He has had a great deal of training, but the majority of it was in the town that he grew up in, [[Chilliwack, BC]].

For those would claim that the only greatness born from Canada is their hockey players, shame on you.

== Trivia ==
* Patrick and [[Ross Rifle]] are known on occasion to rehearse lines together.
* Patrick is most well known for the famous words he used in A Night at the Museum, "Euh huahahe Gananangna!!!! Tabababbaba!!!!!!"
** Some believe that this will actually catch on and become as popular as "I'll be back" or "Yippy Kayay"
* Ross Rifle found his grad photo in his mom's 1985 yearbook. He had a flock of seagulls hairdo.

[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]

Talk:Your mom

2008-02-19T04:18:23Z

Ross rifle113: New page: ==Ross Rifle= Touche....Touche.

==Ross Rifle=
Touche....Touche.

Chilliwack, BC

2008-02-18T08:19:54Z

Ross rifle113:

Chilliwack, BC

2008-02-18T08:05:18Z

Ross rifle113:

Chilliwack, BC

2008-02-18T07:41:36Z

Ross rifle113: /* Problems */

Talk:GPFontaine

2008-02-17T06:35:13Z

Ross rifle113:

== This page is dedicated to talking about ME ==
Sweet. A page for myself, and even better, a page to talk about the page about myself.

I feel a bit special. Oh yes. So special.

If you feel like writing anything here to chat with me, just type: == Your Name == and then type some more crap.

==Ross Rifle==
*I haven't seen Night At The Museum, so I don't know to what extent your sarcasm lies. But I must say as much as you constantly poke fun at me, I take joy in it because it's always funny.

Chilliwack, BC

2008-02-16T08:09:09Z

Ross rifle113:

2010 Olympics

2008-02-16T08:08:38Z

Ross rifle113:

The 2010 Olympics are being held in Vancouver and Whistler, British Columbia. All the politicians and a number of residents are excited. The majority see it as a problem. Here's why:

* It's cost so much fucking money, BC will never recover.
* Mayor Sam Sullivan is sending all the homeless people and crackheads out of Vancouver. They're heading into smaller towns, like [[Chilliwack, BC|Chilliwack]].
* The Sea-To-Sky Highway, which connects Vancouver to Whistler, is one of the most dangerous roads in BC. And it's a 3-4 hour trip, with two lanes between a cliff and the Pacific.
* The mascots are fucking gay.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

2010 Olympics

2008-02-16T08:07:45Z

Ross rifle113: New page: The 2010 Olympics are being held in Vancouver and Whistler, British Columbia. All the politicians and a number of residents are excited. The majority see it as a problem. Here's why: * It...

Chilliwack, BC

2008-02-16T08:03:41Z

Ross rifle113: New page: Chilliwack, British Columbia, is the shittiest shit town to ever shit. It's approximately 100 km from Vancouver, BC. It is Ross Rifle's home town, as well as home base for [[Chainsaw S...

Chainsaw Symphony

2008-02-16T07:40:47Z

Ross rifle113:

Chainsaw Symphony is soon to be the greatest band on Earth. Started in [[Chilliwack, BC]], in 2007, they fuse hard rock, blues, metal, prog-rock, and techno/industrial. They have yet to perform, record, or even practice as a full unit, but Chilliwack is a vaccuumous hole when it comes to fame, so they'll really start shit when they move to Vancouver in 2009.

----
== '''Members:''' ==

[[Ross Rifle]]: Lead Guitars, Rhythm Guitars, Vocals

Connor Tkach: Keyboards, Rhythm Guitars, Vocals

Geoff Prokop: Rhythm Guitars, Lead Guitars, Vocals

Brandon Kostering: Bass, Vocals

Ryan Smith: Drums

----
== '''Influences:''' ==
* [[The Beatles]]
* [[Led Zeppelin]]
* [[Van Halen]]
* [[Guns N' Roses]]
* [[Black Sabbath]]
* [[Ozzy Osbourne]]
* [[Aerosmith]]
* [[Pink Floyd]]
* [[Nine Inch Nails]]
* [[Motley Crue]]
* [[Alice Cooper]]

----
== '''The Ladies of the Symphony''' ==
* Ross, Brandon, and Geoff, the three founding members of Chainsaw Symphony have all called dibs on the celebrity they are going to marry and/or screw mightily when they are famous.

Ross
1. [[Scarlett Johansson]]
2. [[Marion Raven]]

Brandon
1. [[Megan Fox]]
2. [[Elisha Cuthbert]]

Geoff
1. [[Lindsay Lohan]]- Why? none of us are sure...
2. [[Keira Knightley]]
[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]]

Van Halen

2008-02-08T21:29:27Z

Ross rifle113:

Van Halen is a band. They fucking rock. They've had more personnel changes than your mother's late night client roster. [[Ross Rifle]] has taken it upon himself to write the entire history of Van Halen for you, the fan, and you, the want-to-be-fan.

== History ==
=== '''The Beginning''' ===
Van Halen was started by brothers Edward and Alex Van Halen, Dutch immigrants who moved to Pasadena, California, when they were 12 and 14, respectively. They were born into a musical family, their father Jan being a band leader. After years of tedious piano and violin lessons, Eddie and Alex were struck by the rock bug. Alex decided to play guitar and Eddie got a drum kit. While Eddie was out delivering papers to pay for his kit, Alex was using it. When Eddie heard Alex play the drum solo from 'Wipeout', he called for a trade. The rest, as they say, is history.
They played in a few bands throughout their teenage years, such as Genesis (not to be confused with the Phil Collins/Peter Gabriel power trio) and the Trojan Rubber Company. They met a bassist named Mark Stone and formed the power trio Mammoth. A little while later Stone left and they recruited [[Michael Anthony]] from the group Snake. They started renting a PA system from [[David Lee Roth]], a dentist's son fronting the group Redball Jet. Soon they decided that it would be cheaper to have Roth in the band and asked him to join. When they found out that another group in the area was already named Mammoth, Roth suggested they change their name to Van Halen.
After making their bones on the Sunset Strip circuit, they were discovered by Gene Simmons, who paid to finance their demo. The demo got them nowhere, but one night Mo Ostin of Warner Bros. came in and heard them. They were instantly given a deal.

----
=== '''The Roth Years 78-85''' ===
Van Halen released their eponymous debut in early 1978, during the height of Disco and Punk. Disco and Punk effectively died after the album came out. It became the ultimate party album, chock-full of radio friendly hits, such as "Jamie's Cryin'", "Runnin' With The Devil", "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" and a zesty cover of the Kinks' "You Really Got Me". It was the album's second track, an instrumental called "Eruption", that made the album really special. A one minute, 42 second display of Eddie Van Halen's innovative technique turned him into a guitar hero, and changed the way guitar was played, virtually overnight. Van Halen embarked on a successful tour opening for Black Sabbath, whom they blew off the stage every night.

Less than a week after their first tour, Van Halen headed into the studio to record ''Van Halen II''. The album took just over a week to produce, and featured "Dance The Night Away", the band's first top 15 hit. The album also featured the classic "Beautiful Girls" and the underrated "Light Up The Sky", as well as "Spanish Fly", another instrumental that demonstrated Eddie's talent on acoustic guitar. The band headed out on a headlining tour.

Less than a year after ''Van Halen II'', the band released ''Women and Children First''. It was grittier and better demonstrated the band's style of recording live in the studio, with Roth periodically ad-libbing lines. The album featured "And The Cradle Will Rock" and "Everybody Wants Some!!", which was featured prominently in the John Cusack film ''Better Off Dead''. During the 1980 tour, tensions in the band started to rise, as evident on their follow-up album, 1981's ''Fair Warning''.

During the recording sessions for ''Fair Warning'', Eddie would constantly come into the studio at 4 am to record parts. One example of this was the track "Push Comes To Shove". It features a guitar solo that Eddie played at least 20 times, none of the takes being to the liking of producer Ted Templeman. Eddie went in to the studio late that night and recorded the same solo. When he presented it to Templeman later, it was accepted. Though this album's single was "So This Is Love?", a classic track that never charted, it is best known for the radio staple "Unchained".

After four years of nonstop recording and touring, Van Halen decided to a vacation. Before they all left, they decided to record a quick cover of Roy Orbison's "(Oh) Pretty Woman", just to keep their name out there. The single immediately launched up the charts, and the band had to enter the studio to record an album. The result, 1982's ''Diver Down'', though an exceptional album, was a rather weak effort, consisting of 3 instrumentals and 4 covers in its 12 song list. The album became their most successful at that point, despite arguments over a cover of Martha and the Vandellas' "Dancing In The Street", which Eddie was not satisfied with. After the ensuing tour, the band took a year off.

In 1983, David Lee Roth went on a trip to the Amazon, Michael Anthony went to Disneyland (according to Eddie), and Alex did...something. Eddie recieved a phone call one day from Quincy Jones, asking to do a solo for [[Michael Jackson]]'s upcoming album. Eddie went in and played a solo for the track "Beat It". As he didn't want the rest of the band to know, he did it as a favour, figuring nobody would know it was him. Of course, ''Thriller'', the album "Beat It" is from, became the best-selling album of all time, and Eddie recieved no royalties.

Later in 1983, the band got back together to record. The resulting effort was 1984's ''MCMLXXXIV'', which featured the hits "Panama", "Hot For Teacher", "I'll Wait", and their first #1 hit, "Jump". Unfortunately, tensions over the band's new synthesizer-fueled, pop-oriented direction, and Roth's impending solo album and movie career drew the band apart. David Lee Roth announced his departure from the band on April 1st, 1985...seriously. Not long after, Van Halen recruited [[Sammy Hagar]] to sing...seriously.

----
=== '''The Hagar Years 85-96''' ===
With the release of 1986's ''5150'', a new phase of Van Halen was born. The band started to produce their own material in Eddie's home studio, and Ed started to experiment with synthesizers. The result was a power-pop sound which, while not as popular with fans, was far more commercially successful, with ''5150'' becoming the band's first #1 album. Although "Why Can't This Be Love" and "Dreams" became hit singles, the album succeeded without the strength of any videos on MTV. After a successful tour and their first concert film, "Live Without A Net", the Van Halen boys got back to work.

1988's ''OU812'' marked Van Halen's second #1 album. It featured te hits "When It's Love" and "Finish What Ya Started", both of which had regularly rotated videos on MTV. They embarked on two tours, the second being the Monsters of Rock tour in 1988.

Van Halen released their third straight #1 album, the cleverly titled ''For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge'', in 1991. It marked a return to the band's hard rock style, only featuring piano on their hit "Right Now". The album also featured "Poundcake", "Top of the World" and "Runaround", as well as "316", an instrumental in dedication of his son Wolfgang's birth, on March 16, 1991. The band enjoyed another successful tour, with their first live album, ''Right Here Right Now'' being released in 1993.

By the time Van Halen recorded their fourth album with Hagar, ''Balance'', in 1995, tensions were starting to rise within its ranks. Eddie had just come out of rehab and had found God, and Hagar was refusing to write lyrics, resulting in two instrumentals. The album was heavy and featured deeper, more introspective lyrics, and became the band's fourth #1 album.

Band tensions came to a head in '96, over "Humans Being", a song contributed to the ''Twister'' soundtrack, and the track list on their upcoming Best Of Collection, which was to feature two new songs with David Lee Roth, who had joined the band in the studio while Hagar was away. Hagar left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The New Roth Year 96''' ===
At the 1996 MTV Music Video Awards Eddie, Alex, and Mike appeared live on stage with David Lee Roth to present an award. They recieved a two minute standing ovation. After the show, it was reported that Ed and Dave got in a fight and Dave was out. Many fans were devastated that their 11 year dream of a reunion was smashed, and that they had been subject to a publicity stunt to sell copies of their best of (it worked). Roth left Van Halen, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Cherone Years 98-99''' ===
In 1998 it was announced that the Van Halen camp had hired Gary Cherone of Boston group [[Extreme]] to front them. The resulting album was ''Van Halen III'', which, although an excellent album by any standards, was the group's worst selling. By 1999, Cherone was out, and four years of silence followed.

----
=== '''Four Years of Silence 00-04''' ===
Between 2000 and 2004, there was much turmoil in the Van Halen world. Though no one is sure of all that went down, some things have been confirmed:
*Eddie recieved a hip replacement.
*Eddie successfully battled tongue cancer.
*Eddie divorced Valerie Bertinelli, his wife of 20 years.
*Eddie, Alex, and Mike reunited with Dave on 3 occasions, all of which ended badly.
*It was later revealed that Michael Anthony played bass on only three tracks on ''Van Halen III''.

----
=== '''The New Hagar Year 04''' ===
In 2004, seemingly out of the blue, Van Halen reunited with Sammy Hagar. They released a new best of, ''The Best of Both Worlds'', featuring three new tracks with Sammy. They then embarked on a North American tour. The tour was largely considered overpriced (Ross Rifle will attest to this), and Eddie, who had fallen off the wagon, was a mess most nights. The tour grossed massive dollars, but by the end, Sammy left, or was fired, depending on who you talk to.

----
=== '''The Seeming End of Van Halen 05-07''' ===
After the tour, Van Halen disappeared off the map. Eddie teamed up with MXR to release signature phaser and flanger pedals, and teamed up with Charvel to make replicas of his three famous custom guitars. Sammy toured as a solo artist, with Mike joining him as "The Other Half". Eddie then announced a partnership with Fender guitars, who created a perfect replica of his legendary Frankenstein guitar, as well as launched his own "EVH" line of guitar products.

In 2007, Van Halen was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There were rumours of a Dave/Van Halen reunion with Eddie's teenage son Wolfgang on bass, but Eddie checked himself into rehab, making himself (and Alex) unavailable for the induction. Dave refused to show when Velvet Revolver, who were paying tribute to them, said they would rather do "You Really Got Me" than "Jump". Only Sammy and Mike, who were no longer members of the band, were there to accept the induction. Gary Cherone was not inducted. It truly seemed like a sad end to one of the greatest rock bands on Earth.

----

=== '''The New Roth Year(s?) 07-??''' ===
About a month after the RnRHOF induction, Eddie made his first post-rehab appearance, looking healthy and clean-cut. He had an interview with Guitar World promoting his new 5150III amp, and the fountain of hope soon began to flow. Sure enough, on August 13th, 2007, Van Halen, consisting of Eddie, Alex, and Wolfgang Van Halen, as well as David Lee Roth, held a press conference announcing a North American tour. The tour, originally slated for 25 dates, commenced on September 27th. It has since been extended four months until April 08, and is one of the most successful tours in history, selling out nearly every show, and making the band an estimated $1.5 million a night. Once again, the Mightiest Band in all the Land is rocking the nation, with a proposed World Tour and upcoming album, which would pretty much make Ross Rifle cream his pants.

----
== '''Line-Ups''' ==

=== 1974-1985 ===
*[[David Lee Roth]]-Vocals, Guitar
*[[Eddie Van Halen]]-Guitar, Keyboards, Backing Vocals
*[[Michael Anthony]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*[[Alex Van Halen]]-Drums

=== 1985-1996 ===
*[[Sammy Hagar]]-Vocals, Guitar
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1996 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 1998-1999 ===
*[[Gary Cherone]]-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Drums, Vocals, Keyboards, Piano, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2004 ===
*Sammy Hagar-Vocals
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Bass, Backing Vocals
*Michael Anthony-Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

=== 2007 ===
*David Lee Roth-Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica
*Eddie Van Halen-Guitar, Backing Vocals
*[[Wolfgang Van Halen]]-Bass, Backing Vocals
*Alex Van Halen-Drums

== '''Influence''' ==
Since the beginning, Eddie Van Halen has been considered the greatest guitarist since Jimi Hendrix, and pretty much every guitarist since him had tried to be as good as him. His custom guitars also influenced most 80s metal guitars, and music nerds have been trying to cop his "Brown Sound" tone for decades.

Van Halen were innovators in the music video ring as well. Their three videos from ''MCMLXXXIV'' created three important genres of video: the studio preformance (Jump), stage performance (Panama) and situational (Hot For Teacher). The latter was also one of the first videos to get banned for its latent sexuality.

Surprisingly enough, Eddie Van Halen was instrumental in getting African-Americans on MTV. His collaboration with Michael Jackson on "Beat It" also helped get MJ on rock radio and Van Halen on pop radio.

== '''Trivia''' ==
*Van Halen fuckin rules.
*Ross Rifle loves Van Halen.
*Gary Cherone suffered from the same syndrome as Tim 'Ripper' Ownes, Blaze Bayley, and John Corabi. That syndrome is 'replacement singer syndrome', where a singer is put into the impossible shoes of a fan favorite.
*Van Halen coined 'LSD', or 'Lead Singer's Disease'.
*At least 3 of the members of Van Halen have probably had sex with your mother, wife, or sister.
*Now that Van Halen and Led Zeppelin have reunited, there will no longer be any reunion tour EVER.
*There's a little Van Halen in everybody.
*[[GPFontaine]] Saw them during a Cherone concert. The band was great, the singer was not.
[[Category:The Complete Sydapedia]][[Category:Band]]

Extreme

2008-02-08T19:57:30Z

Ross rifle113:

''This article is about the band Extreme. If you were looking for the popular catchphrase for the skateboard generation, go to hell.''

Extreme is the third coolest band out of Boston, behind only [[Aerosmith]] and [[Boston]]. Extreme featured [[Gary Cherone]] on vocals, Nuno Bettencourt on guitar, a blond guy on bass, and the least metal-looking guy ever on drums.

They played [[Van Halen]]-style funk metal, also taking influences from Queen and the aforementioned 'Smith.

----
== '''Extreme''' ==

Apart from having the lamest album cover of all time, Extreme's eponymous 1989 debut was quite good. It showcased Nuno's stellar guitar skills, Gary's impressive voice, and the other guys' talents too. It featured the ''excellent'' track, "Play With Me".

----
== '''Pornograffitti''' ==
Along with having an awesome title, Extreme's 1990 sophomore effort was a great effort. It also became their commercial breakthrough, mostly thanks to their power ballad "More Than Words". Unfortunately, every band that got big off a power ballad in 1990 was effectively lined up and shot by '92, and Extreme was no exception.

----
== '''III Sides To Every Story''' ==
Extreme's somewhat cleverly named third album was alright. It had approximately 1.7 awesome songs, as "Rest In Peace" got really gay at the end. The rest of the album was just decent.

----
== '''Waiting For The Punchline''' ==
Yeah, they released a fourth album, but their career was over by then. Ironic title eh?

----
== '''After Extreme''' ==
*Gary Cherone went to front Van Halen's least successful album. It wasn't his fault though, nobody could fill [[David Lee Roth]] or even [[Sammy Hagar]]'s shoes.

*Nuno Bettencourt co-founded Perry Farrell's Satellite Party. That lasted all of three months.

*Those other guys did something.

----
== '''Trivia''' ==
*"More Than Words" is the worst fucking ballad ever written.
*"Play With Me" was featured on ''Bill and Ted's Excellent Journey'' and Guitar Hero Encore: Rock The 80s.
*Ross Rifle's vinyl copy of ''Extreme'' does not feature "Play With Me". That angers him.

[[Category: The Complete Sydapedia]]

AC/DC

2008-02-08T19:54:18Z

Ross rifle113: New page: AC/DC, a rowdy pack of vertically-challenged Australians, is one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Actually, they're the only band on Earth that fits into the 'Rock' genre. All other...

AC/DC, a rowdy pack of vertically-challenged Australians, is one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Actually, they're the only band on Earth that fits into the 'Rock' genre. All other bands fit into a sub-genre of rock, but AC/DC is just rock. They accomplish this feat with their brilliant combination of sexual lyrics, anthemic choruses, and power chords. AC/DC rocks.

== TRIVIA ==
[[Ross Rifle]]'s middle name is Angus, names after AC/DC's lead guitarist Angus Young.