Ross Rifle

The Legend of Ross Rifle

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "Sweet Child O' Mine" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard Eddie Van Halen's legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He is now lead guitarist in Chainsaw Symphony, and is always playing his guitar.

Ross Rifle's Guns

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast: Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

Red: Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

Big Boy: Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

Esmerlda the Pirate Wench: Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

Betty Boop: Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

Trivia

Ross Rifle rules.

He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a Ross Rifle?". He laughed.

Van Halen is his favourite band ever.

His top 5 guitarists are as follows: Eddie Van Halen, Slash, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page, Tony Iommi.

His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of AC/DC.

Though his favourite music lies in the Classic Rock/Hard Rock/Heavy Metal genre, he is an admitted fan of Frank Sinatra, James Brown, and Rihanna.

Ross Rifle hasn't cut his hair in four years. He's saved a lot of money, but if he wants to maintain his metal hair, he's gotta start getting regular trims. Plus, he just pulled the biggest fucking knot out of his hair.

He is a former spelling bee champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.

Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, everytime I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

Rock N' Roll will never die.