Alicia Silverstone

Once upon a time she was hot.

Then she was gone.

What the hell happened?

Theories of her disappearance

Abducted by aliens

I doubt that this is the case, but honestly who knows. She was here and then gone missing. Maybe it was those Simpson aliens Kang and Kodos. I suppose it could have been Marvin the Martian, but I doubt he could pull it off. I mean he can't even kill Daffy Duck. The last potential hijackers I can think of are those fucking idiots Ignignokt and Err, you know them... the puzzle shaped fucktards that call themselves the Mooninites.

Tom Cruise

It is possible she wasn't into him and he had her "taken care of". No one gets away from Tom. No one.

She was on the Titanic

If I recall it was about a billion years since she did something that anyone has seen. Perhaps she was on the Titanic as it went down.

Witness Protection

She was actually a hit-woman. She decided to turn on her past clients when they stopped letting her act. The police put her into protective custody and shipped her off to the uncharted areas of Alaska.

Alive and Well

It has been suggested that Alicia Silverstone is still alive and still very hot, but that her television and film career has stalled. She has been sighted at various Hollywood events as recently as December 2nd, 2007. A photo to the right that was supposed taken at the premier of the 2005 movie North Country shows Silverstone, alive and well, but making some terrible fashion decisions.

Murdered by PETA

A very popular theory suggests that Silverstone, a noted vegetarian, was murdered by PETA when she was caught eating Syd Lexia's dick.