Difference between revisions of "The-Excel"

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m (User:The-Excel moved to The-Excel: Userspace is for Wikipedia. We don't need that shit here. Moving the article to mainspace.)
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Revision as of 14:19, 14 March 2010

What is The-Excel?

James A. Calwell III, better known as Excel-2010, is fat.


Calwell denies that his internet name "The-Excel" has any intentional connection to any well-known products or fictional characters of the same name, though he also holds that he does not know the true source of the name, nor does he care to remember. The first incarnation of The-Excel is Excel 2004 and Excel 2005; it was not rendered with a hyphen. The hyphen was added in Excel-2006 to indicate that beginning with that year.

Fight me? You?

Around the release of Disgaea 2, a meme based on it circulated around the internet, in particular, forums of no vital importance. The phrase "You are soulless without it." in sky blue was posted in response to anything the user pleased. Shortly after the meme increased in usage, The-Excel decided to retaliate by replying "I will fight you." to anyone who posted it as an empty threat. He continued usage of this catchphrase long after the original meme it was created in response to had passed. Somehow, it is used by a small number of other members of said forums to this day.


  • Previously known as Excel-2007, Excel-2006, Excel 2005 and Excel 2004, he is known to get in giant laser fights with people he sees as more pretentious and self-important than he is.
  • Rumor has it that he is a clandestine practitioner of blackmagic and human sacrifice.
  • There is a bootleg recording of his butt floating around online.
  • He is immune to caffeine and alcohol.
  • His single weakness is being told that he isn't important. That and small children. God they piss me off so much. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and throw up.
  • He has a personal vendetta against avid fans of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It is worth emphasizing, however, that he has no grievances against the show itself, other than its anachronistic episode sequence and his belief that it's "...the most overrated show of the twenty-first century."
  • He will fight you.
  • Come to think of it, big children piss him off too.
  • Can you survive?
  • James A. Calwell III's ass can kick you.
  • Wants to bang Ellen Page in the butt.

External links