Topless Robot Tittyfucking

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What is Topless Robot?

"It's basically Cracked Lite. If Cracked just don't update fast enough for you, then TR is a great place to for extra Crack. Just know that the Crack you're getting at TR has been cut with sugar, so it's not quite as good."


How did they get tittyfucked?

Cracked Lite woke up one morning, had some fucking gross quiche for breakfast, and thought, "let's appeal to the gamer/toilet humor market!" So they asked themselves, "Which Mega Man robot masters sound the funniest when we're high on our own supply?" and they came up with a list of 6 or 7. Then came the time to snag the images, and they did what any shmuck whose wiring is not according to schematics would have done, use Yahoo instead of Google. And even after they had a whole pleothra (sp?) of Burst Man images available to them, Syd's image apparently looked the most like an oiled up, naked Vida Guerra, so they went with that one.

As most of us know, that's not very on the level in the e-workplace, so Syd got dressed up in his finest Sunday dress, pranced happily over to the Topless Robot office, and politely informed them of their e-faux pax(sp?). This triggered the main person to go on a long rambling speech on how they're on a mission to marginalize Syd's website (as if he isn't marginalized enough already) to which he concluded "So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Syd Lexia. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear? " To which Syd retorted, "I'm sorry I wasn't listening." The Topless Robot executive, chucked a coffee mug at Syd's head, bruising it and in the process causing a small brown stain in his underpants. Furious, Syd went back home and through the magic powers of the internet, created this monstrosity:

Burst Man.png

I don't know what's more shocking, that image, or the fact that almost a month later, that image is still on that Topless Robot article. Go ahead, go look it up. It's still there.

This can only lead us to one of two conclusions: a) Topless Robot doesn't care about their tittyfucking, or b) Topless Robot likes tittyfucking, in which case, I need to get Topless Robot's number for a hot date.

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