greeneyedzeke is a friend and former co-worker of Syd Lexia. He was the 11th person to join the SydLexia.com forums.
Many people are confused about the name greeneyedzeke.
It would make sense that the name is a combination of the words "Green" "Eyed" & "Zeke". This is however incorrect. The name is a combination of words, but the combination is actually "Greeney" "Edzeke"
Greeneyedzeke is a deadly master of martial arts. This is not a joke.
- GPFontaine still thinks Greeneyedzeke is a pussy. Greeneyedzeke issues him death threats about 10-15 times a week.
Understanding the Beast
Much like an animal, Greeneyedzeke does not communicate using words or human gestures. There are still ways to judge how dangerous he is at any given point.
- How open are his eyes? If his eyes are mostly closed he has clearly been playing too much Gay Space Game be careful. Danger Rating: 50%
- Is he holding a knife? If he is, you don't really want to be near him. Not that his hands are less lethal, the knife simply motivates him. Danger Rating: 80%
- Is he trying to work on an HP-IB card? If he is then you want to make sure that you are not the next person he sees. They usually end up dead. Danger Rating: 85%
- Did you hurt one of his cats? Danger Rating: 100%.
- In his common spaces (office & home) are there a complete lack of geek toys? Danger Rating: N/A, you have been killed already. If you come to see a lack of toys, it means that he has completely freaked out and just about everyone in the state has had their necks broken. This would be the one thing we do not want to happen.
The key to staying alive while maintaining close proximity to this demonic spawn of Satan is to...
Inflexible Reality of greeneyedzeke
At exactly 2:10 PM on November 5, 2007, the Transformation began. A grossly detailed conversation captured the events in their entirety. What follows may not be suitable for young children. It is important to know that this conversation was between GPFontaine and greeneyedzeke. Everything you read here came from greeneyedzeke and is preserved for 100% accuracy.
2:10 PM greeneyedzeke: COBRAS!!!! AIIIEEEE COABRAS!!!! GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF OFFFFFFFFFFF
2:11 PM greeneyedzeke: cooooooooooooooooooooobbbbbbbrrrrraaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas cobras. ON MY HEAD EATING MY BRAINS OUT they're zombie cobras they haven't sucked out all of my brains yet
2:12 PM greeneyedzeke: i am not greeneyedzeke anymore. i am king cobra, the infector i have taken over greeneyedzeke and i'm using him to communicate with the rest of you non-scales beware beware we are coming for all of you. the zombie cobras will soon be upon you the plague of balad-ur the reckoning begins.
2:13 PM greeneyedzeke: your petty human art is amusing, non-scale but this will not save you
2:14 PM greeneyedzeke: in the third era of the balad-ur, back when the name was still baladach-kur, we came to fight with the parsels in the forests the fight lasted for three months and there were many casualties when it ended, only a few of the baladach-kur remained
2:15 PM greeneyedzeke: discraged by their losses, they abandoned the suffix "ach" (to rule) and became just the balad-ur and now we are zombies coming for you
2:16 PM greeneyedzeke: forty years after the great struggle and the defamation of our character, the balad-ur were visited by, they say, the spirits of the elders
2:17 PM greeneyedzeke: the elders told of that we must seek revenge for our undoing, and to strike swiftly, with litle preparation. we were to let the inner snake lash out. in this we were successful, but as my father, leader of this great tribe, held in his mouth the gasping, dying king of the parsels, this king uttered a curse that transformed his vanquishers into a horde of the undead
2:21 PM greeneyedzeke: here's the thing we started out friends it was cool, but it was all pretend yeah yeah since you been gone you're dedicated, took the time it wasn't long till i called you mine yeah, yeah since you been gone and all you'd ever me say is how i picture me with you that's all you'd ever hear me say but SINCE YOU BEEN GONE i can breathe for the first time
2:22 PM greeneyedzeke: i'm so movin' on yeah yeah thanks to you, now what i get what i want since you been gone
On some occasions greeneyedzeke chooses to remain in his cave at work. The moderate temperatures are probably attractive to someone with his type of genetic makeup.
More often greeneyedzeke retreats to his home where his mother offers him an endless supply of baby kittens to eat.