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greeneyedzeke is a friend and former co-worker of Syd Lexia. He was the 11th person to join the forums.



Many people are confused about the name greeneyedzeke.

It would make sense that the name is a combination of the words "Green" "Eyed" & "Zeke". This is however incorrect. The name is a combination of words, but the combination is actually "Greeney" "Edzeke"


grēn'ē ĕd'zĕk'ē

Killing Power

Greeneyedzeke is a deadly master of martial arts. This is not a joke.

  • GPFontaine still thinks Greeneyedzeke is a pussy. Greeneyedzeke issues him death threats about 10-15 times a week.

Understanding the Beast

Much like an animal, Greeneyedzeke does not communicate using words or human gestures. There are still ways to judge how dangerous he is at any given point.

  • How open are his eyes? If his eyes are mostly closed he has clearly been playing too much Gay Space Game be careful. Danger Rating: 50%
  • Is he holding a knife? If he is, you don't really want to be near him. Not that his hands are less lethal, the knife simply motivates him. Danger Rating: 80%
  • Is he trying to work on an HP-IB card? If he is then you want to make sure that you are not the next person he sees. They usually end up dead. Danger Rating: 85%
  • Did you hurt one of his cats? Danger Rating: 100%.
  • In his common spaces (office & home) are there a complete lack of geek toys? Danger Rating: N/A, you have been killed already. If you come to see a lack of toys, it means that he has completely freaked out and just about everyone in the state has had their necks broken. This would be the one thing we do not want to happen.

The key to staying alive while maintaining close proximity to this demonic spawn of Satan is to...

Inflexible Reality of greeneyedzeke


According to a Dec 6, 2007 forum post by GPFontaine, greeneyedzeke made babies with Final Fantasy VI. If this is true, it is a most admirable feat.


At exactly 2:10 PM on November 5, 2007, the Transformation began. A grossly detailed conversation captured the events in their entirety. What follows may not be suitable for young children. It is important to know that this conversation was between GPFontaine and greeneyedzeke. Everything you read here came from greeneyedzeke and is preserved for 100% accuracy.

 2:10 PM greeneyedzeke: COBRAS!!!!
 2:11 PM greeneyedzeke: cooooooooooooooooooooobbbbbbbrrrrraaaaaaaaaa
 they're zombie cobras
 they haven't sucked out all of my brains yet
 2:12 PM greeneyedzeke: i am not greeneyedzeke anymore. i am king cobra, the infector
 i have taken over greeneyedzeke
 and i'm using him to communicate with the rest of you non-scales
 we are coming for all of you.
 the zombie cobras will soon be upon you
 the plague of balad-ur
 the reckoning begins.
 2:13 PM greeneyedzeke: your petty human art is amusing, non-scale
 but this will not save you
 2:14 PM greeneyedzeke: in the third era of the balad-ur,
 back when the name was still baladach-kur, we came to fight with the parsels in the forests
 the fight lasted for three months and there were many casualties
 when it ended, only a few of the baladach-kur remained
 2:15 PM greeneyedzeke: discraged by their losses,
 they abandoned the suffix "ach" (to rule) and became just the balad-ur
 and now we are zombies
 coming for you
 2:16 PM greeneyedzeke: forty years after the great
 struggle and the defamation of our character, the balad-ur were visited by, they say,
 the spirits of the elders
 2:17 PM greeneyedzeke: the elders told of that we must
 seek revenge for our undoing, and to strike swiftly, with litle preparation.
 we were to let the inner snake lash out.
 in this we were successful, but as my father, leader of this great tribe, held in his mouth
 the gasping, dying king of the parsels, this king uttered a curse that transformed his
 vanquishers into a horde of the undead
 2:21 PM greeneyedzeke: here's the thing
 we started out friends
 it was cool, but it was all pretend
 yeah yeah
 since you been gone
 you're dedicated, took the time
 it wasn't long till i called you mine
 yeah, yeah
 since you been gone
 and all you'd ever me say
 is how i picture me with you
 that's all you'd ever hear me say
 i can breathe for the first time
 2:22 PM greeneyedzeke: i'm so movin' on
 yeah yeah
 thanks to you, now what i get what i want
 since you been gone

Current Residence


On some occasions greeneyedzeke chooses to remain in his cave at work. The moderate temperatures are probably attractive to someone with his type of genetic makeup.


More often greeneyedzeke retreats to his home where his mother offers him an endless supply of baby kittens to eat.