Ross Rifle

The Legend of Ross Rifle

Ross Rifle was born in 1989 into a life of rock. His lullaby was "Sweet Child O' Mine" and he loved metal. He picked up the guitar in 8th grade and started a band. As it turned out, the band sucked and had no motivation. When they all suggested a punk-rock cover of 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P.", he quit the band, and quit playing guitar. All that changed when he heard Eddie Van Halen's legendary instrumental "Eruption", a song he hadn't heard in many years. He is now lead guitarist in Chainsaw Symphony, and is always playing his guitar.

Ross Rifle's Guns

Ross Rifle owns 5 guitars, which he refers to as his "guns":

Stacey the Psycho Hosebeast: Ross' first guitar. It is a chrome-copy of a Gibson SG that Ross placed a Gibson decal on. Gets 'em every time.

Red: Ross' baby. A red OLP Musicman, just like what Eddie Van Halen played in the early 90s.

Blackie: Black Typhoon Les Paul. Great sound, will probably become Ross' #1.

Big Boy: Ross' first acoustic. Excellent sound. Covered in burns and melt-marks, from God-knows-what.

Esmerlda the Pirate Wench: Ross' 12-string acoustic. Loves it.

Betty Boop: Ross' red 1985/86 Sessions bass. With its basic colour and pointed headstock, it is a seminal 80s instrument.

Trivia

• Ross Rifle rules.
• He got his name when his 11th grade History teacher asked if "anyone here has a Ross Rifle?". He laughed.
• Van Halen is his favourite band ever.
• His top 5 guitarists are as follows: Eddie Van Halen, Slash, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page, Tony Iommi.
• His middle name is Angus, after the lead guitarist of AC/DC.
• Though his favourite music lies in the Classic Rock/Hard Rock/Heavy Metal genre, he is an admitted fan of Frank Sinatra, James Brown, and Rihanna.
• Ross Rifle hasn't cut his hair in four years. He's saved a lot of money, but if he wants to maintain his metal hair, he's gotta start getting regular trims. Plus, he just pulled the biggest fucking knot out of his hair.
• He is a former spelling bee champion, and prides himself on having perfect spelling, punctuation, and grammar, even when instant messaging.
• Ross wants to write for Syd. Anything music. Seriously Syd. Also, every time I read an article and see a spelling mistake, I really badly want to fix it. Really bad.

Beliefs

Rock N' Roll will never die.